Misyar Marriages

You hear a lot about misyar marriages all over the Saudi media. Some people are against it and others think that it is the magical pill for all our society’s ailments. Many non Saudis have the misconception that this type of marriage is sanctioned by law and that the actual marriage contract document is different from the one used for conventional Saudi marriages. Well that is just not true. There is only one marriage contract document and whether the marriage is conventional or misyar depends on a verbal agreement. The marriage contract itself looks somewhat like a passport. So what are miyar marriages? Well to answer that you first have to understand our regular marriages. First off a conventional marriage means that the groom pays the bride a dowry ranging between 8000 dollars and can go up to 27000 dollars depending on the bride’s tribe, age, beauty…etc. A government approved sheikh is brought to the house and writes up the marriage in a big marriage notebook. Everyone signs it and then it is sent to the bride for signature. Islamically, the sheikh must make sure that the bride agrees to the marriage by asking her himself. But this is not done in many households. The sheikh does not see or speak to the bride. The bride’s father or any other male relative represents her and speaks for her. When it comes to the dowry, it is considered impolite to have it written in the marriage contract, even though there is a little blank for it. The groom waits a couple of days and then goes to the Saudi courts to get the document. Then the groom also has to ensure that they have a place to stay, which could be a couple of rooms at his parent’s house, an apartment, or a villa. And most importantly they tell everyone about their marriage, usually at a big wedding party. Finally impregnation is expected within the first three years.

With a misyar marriage, you still have a sheikh and he comes to the house with the big notebook and does his thing. But with this marriage the bride makes a lot of compromises that are agreed upon verbally prior to the shiekh’s arrival. She still gets a dowry but the marriage itself is considered a secret. Only close relative are allowed to know. When it comes to the love nest, that is most commonly the bride’s own bedroom at her parent’s home. Sometimes, especially for richer grooms, an apartment is rented for the bride. The husband can come and go as he pleases and does not have to spend nights over unless he wants to. Having children is discouraged in these marriages. And they are designed just so the husband can divorce anytime without obligations.

Why would a woman put herself in this position? It differs from one to the other but ultimately it boils down to these reasons:

  • She’s a divorcee or spinster and unlikely to get a better offer. These women tell themselves that he’ll love me and want me as a full wife once he gets to know me.
  • Lower class households that quite frankly pimp out their daughters and use the dowry kind of like a prostitution fee.
  • The groom is really rich and made an offer that just can’t be refused. Rich practicing Muslim men do misyar out of fear of their first wife and at the same time they can tell themselves it’s hallal (Islamically sanctioned)

I know a woman who went into a misyar marriage four year ago. She’s been divorced twice before then and approaching forty. Fortunately it worked out for her and a couple of months back her misyar husband bought her a house and publically acknowledged her.

 

311 Comments

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311 responses to “Misyar Marriages

  1. The_True_Man

    Hi

    It is interesting to know what happens at various societies…

    By the way, you said the Governmental Sheikh comes to house and writes up a contract. So is the marriage accepted by the Government ? is it legal ?

    regards
    The_True_Man

    • Sajid

      I personally dont think so. But technically it is hallal.

      • wasim

        No it is not Hallal. It is look like to me like a Girl Friend and BoyFriend living in USA, and all the Europe and you have Kids
        Then you can decide you want to marry or not. Samething here.
        That is not available during Holy Prophet Muhammad’s Time. It is the worse option that you guys made up. whatever is not allowed during the times of Holy Prophet Muhammad is totally Harram and has no meanings in Islam.
        You are creating new Islam and saying it is Hallal because said some Sheikh or Molvi or Allama . So Keep in mind Whatever is not allowed by God or by Holy Prophet is Harram.

  2. A

    Although I don’t like this kind of a marriage, but I know of a fourth reason that some people are satisfied with:

    (4) An independent woman with her own high paying job, car (with driver of course), and everything she needs. She doesn’t like to live with someone or to commit. But she would like to have a husband who shares her same views.

  3. joelmartin

    I just found your blog via a link to my own blog. I have studied Islam quite a bit, and I’m fascinated by your region of the world. I wouldn’t mind working in Dubai someday.

  4. Faisal

    How can I find a misyar wife?

  5. al ajam

    asalaamo alaykum

    i am interested in a misyar marriage how do i go about doing so? the faact of the matter is i want a saudi wife but as i am a dforgeiner i feel that the only way i can get a saudi wife is via a misyar marriage its sad really as we are all muslim also i would not want to use the poor lady just for my desires i want to cherish and love her so dooes anyone please have any advice?

    • Fahd

      Perverts!!!!!! trying to satisfy lust under the garb of humanity and social injustice… why you guys need a misyar… why can’t you properly marry a women… fully and be a responsible husband and father…

      dont make a mockery of islam!!! and shariah!!! remember what rasulAllah said about the grey areas in sharia where you dont find a clear cut instruction….!!! SubhanAllah … RasulAllah SAW said…. “the heart (inner instinct) of a M’omin would tell him if something is a sin or not”

      so avoid GREY areas and live a respectful life…

      you know rasulAllah SAW also used to travel…. but always he would keep one of her wife with him (salam Allah-e-alaehuma)….so we should follow that…

      • Mubashir Hassan

        Certainly! I agree completely with Fahad, Jaza KalAllah Khair brother……

      • Ahmed

        Exactly !!! I too agree completely with you brother Fahad, Jaza KalAllah Khair

      • Sahil

        keeping your wife with you all the time with you may be easy for some but not for all as we are working away from our homes also its not financially possible for so many to bring and afford their families here in gulf. and by the way who are you to decide this is halal or haram its halal go update your knowledge of Islam and in short there is a fatwa in favor of misyar is also there by a respectfull Saudi Alim-e-Deen.

      • Zainab

        So after over 1400 years of Islam, suddenly a new form of ‘marriage’ is discovered. Are you the first Muslims in history to work in far away lands or are your saudi alim-e-deen better than the past scholars?

      • Farid E

        RasulAllah SAW said…. “the heart (inner instinct) of a M’omin would tell him if something is a sin or not”. Given the terrible things that were done to women and children after they were taken by the Muslims in those hundreds of early raids. And given the fact that the prophet himself had 14 wives and also concubines, I don’t think that these people should be the standard for what is right. I know many mulhideen who are more upright and only marry one women and love her until death.

  6. I am interested ,in two or three Misyar marraige,i am working as abusiness development manager in Pakistan and has worked in Dubai for 4 years as a Manager Marketing also worked as a Manager Marketing in Abu Dhabi.

    I need a good women it does not mater A divorce or a widower i need a partner how would act likea women with me and at times be nice and understanding with me life is short so let not waist time and do some thing.my cell is 00 92 307 500 77 66.ajmal2u@hotmail.com,and ajmal2u@googlemail.com.

  7. Imran

    Assalaam Alaikum,

    32 yrs male Doctor working in well known group of Hospital in Riyadh is intrested in Misyar Marraige with a women under 40, divorcee or widower can contact rash05_76@yahoo.com

    • Fahd

      file a request for a family visa and ask your family to join you!!!! thats the best possible for your “dunya wal akhira”

    • doctor hai tu kyah huwa mufti tu nai hai pehlay ja kay maloom tu ker islam may iss keam ki nika key kyah haiseyath hai

    • Mubashir Hassan

      Would you allow your sister or daughter to enter in such type of filthy contract (Misyar) brother?????

      If your answer is no, then “like the same for your brother”

    • Abbey

      “32 years old male doctor”, Please do not use the sad state of Saudi Women (of having no rights in Saudi Arabia) to your advantage. The “Misyar” marriage in Saudi Arabia disrespects the rights of a woman in all aspects. Islam allows plural marriages only if all the wives are treated equally and have equal rights, therefore this marriage is not part of Islam. This is not a dating website please do not disrespect the Author by posting your requests for women here!

  8. Feras78

    hi, I am looking also, I am based Dubai 31 old

  9. sam

    Control yourselves you perverts. Sheesh man… ever heard the line you only fall in love once and “SouLMate”? How different are men from animals if they cant keep themselves in check?

    • Ahmad

      Most muslims are very much act and behave worse than some animals when it comes down to treat women.

    • Makhtoum

      Soulmate!!! My dog/hawk/horse/camel is my soul mate lmao
      5 days post marriage the souls mates turn into witches.

      Just trolling so keep it light ;)

  10. anjum shaikh

    ha ha! Sam , u put an end to all those! btw, the write up was about how misyar marriage is being misused… this is not a dating website! please!!

  11. Imad

    i am 45y old medical doctor in uae searching for awoman for misyar marrige

  12. Usman

    To my understanding, misyar marriage is “Islamicized Zina” totally against the very spirit of marriage. In Islam, and in most civilizations in most of part of the history, Marriage is an institution to harbor family, rather than merely a sexual pleasure. This misyar marriage (or Islamicized Zina) not only exploit women but also bring the man on its lowest level.

    • Baqar

      Usman, I wish you had little more time to studied Islam’s basic principles before terming Misyar as Zina.
      Take some primary classes on Islam !
      Baqar

      • Dr Ahmed

        The word misyar is purely man made issue for the the convenience of unilateral sexual pleasure and as rightly pointed out by usman as islamicized prostitution and nothing beyond it- no religious books ever mention about this cowardy act and it’s no way different from road side prostitution in a novel way. What really makes me raise my eye-bros is the religious sheiks make a silent nod to this mischievious acts. I had seen these marriages used to take place regularly on a regular time-frame basis in Iran in olden days and it’s slowly extrapolated to the present culture silently for men’s conveneince and there is marality than bliss in this relationship.

    • khalid

      Usman,100% Right

      • kate

        How are you doing?
        am miss kate i would like to konw more about you
        please never mind to contact me through my email (kate_sary@yahoo.com) so that i will send you my pictures so that you will konw me more thanks and remain bless
        (kate_sary@yahoo.com)

      • Abbey

        Our Almighty Allah has stated in the ALQuran, “Do not buy and sell my Religion” “My religion is a favour and mercy upon you” To my opinion the “misyar marriage” is the buying and selling of Allah’s laws that have been twisted and misinterpreted by the sheiks who are probably taking bribery for performing these ceremonies!

  13. yousuf

    i am looking for a misyar marraige, i am in karachi my contect no.03343683402

    • what the hell you thinkin Yousef about by
      posting ur# lol..!!!
      that topic became a spam and an ad for mysiar!
      I am totally against mesyar.. coz its purly for sexual reasons and it destroys the real core of marriage!
      Mesyar would be a great deal for playful men who don’t want to be in serious relationship!

      • Usman

        Well Said!

      • Irfan

        yup 100% satisfy with you Omaima. but i think it should be stoped in saudia.as a muslim i think so that its not good for men and women also.
        just serious relations i beleive.because i beleive that sex with out love or without romance is nothing.
        animals also do sex so what is the deffernce between human being and animals?
        thats why be a human and love somebody and marry with her.
        God Bless All Muslims.

      • kate

        How are you doing?
        am miss kate i would like to konw more about you
        please never mind to contact me through my email (kate_sary@yahoo.com) so that i will send you my pictures so that you will konw me more thanks and remain bless
        (kate_sary@yahoo.com)

      • Mubashir Hassan

        A question for all the men,

        Can you allow your mother/sister/daughter to enter in such type of filthy contract (Misyar),

    • Why don’t you go and clean your filthy land first from such men like yourself who probably approved of the shooting of Malala! The name of Pakistan should be changed to filthestan for it definitely is not a clean land when it does not honour their women and children. You should be on the street with outrage for what happen to the little girl just as your Indian brethren who actually are infidels in your eyes because they are hindu and sikhs than the Taliban animals that you have and support who roam your country killing women left and right. Utter filth.

      • Aamir

        first of all let me make you understand what is pakistan and who are talibans.
        Pakistan is an Islamic Country and we are respecting women of any age.
        Talibans are the real fighters,who fights with anyone fighting with muslims.it is not in their blood to kill innocent people.
        Malala was not attacked by the Talibans but by the US Paid so called Talibans fighting for US with the agenda to Degrade Taliban’s Image….

        if you want to know the Talibans i suggest you must to study the Peroid Talibans ruled Afghanistan….then you can come to know why America has attacked Afghanistan and why he is Trying to Degrade the Image of Taliban’s.

        and why you are taking only Malala Issue….what about the boys and girls being killed in Drone Attacks by US why you dont talk about them…

        malala…malala…malala…..

        i dont know who you are, but whoever you are just shut your mouth discussing anything related to pakistan and wait for the time when you will be the victim.

      • Zainab

        Lina,
        I may not agree with Aamir’s quest for a misyar marriage, but he is right about one thing: one should not get all passionate and talk about political issues that one has no knowledge or complete understanding of, except what CNN feeds them. I mean, who sponsored a minor to politically resist one of the most deadly groups controlling any region in the middle east? The British. Who promised to keep her identity secret? The British. Who exposed her to the world & to her enemy through public broadcast & various acclaims? The US & the British. Who is sponsoring the violent Taliban in Pakistan? Rumor has it that it’s the West. Perhaps poor Malala was just another casuality of war, their one sure way of winning the sypathy of people like you for their “war on terror” so that they can continue to reign terror in every part of the world they like.

      • fahd

        I was about to write something for you Lina but now the subject is different. Firstly, you lost your intellectual respect when you put on your comments in street language. So for sure, you are no longer a respectable blogger. You see now, with these comments if you still expect respect from the bloggers, you are mistaken.

        Secondly, no one gets impressed by or is interested in what you study and how you have spent your life. All that values on online forums is the way you talk and present and you already showed your street stuff.

        Thirdly, very strangely, like an amateur, you have taken many positions in you recent comments and not even backed your statements. Blogging etiquettes require you to back your statement with some objective/ subjective evidences. People like you use these forums to let their frustrations out and then run away. I will not reply on your previous comments but this recent one is interesting. It also tells us why the other girls were laughing at you. Also it tells why your teacher preferred to not answer you at that time. Maybe you should have chosen to go to him/ her separately and ask your question so as not to waste time of other colleagues.

        Can you rephrase your statement???

        lauw kuntu amiran la amartu almar’a and tasjuda lezoujiha!

        Although this is very vague… what i can figure out is … prophet saying “if I could order, I would have ordered you to do sajda to your ZOUJ”

        Just a question… do you understand arabic???? Without establishing the authenticity of this statement (which i believe you already would have done), I would just drop down to mention that this is not an order… you said how can prophet say such a thing… I can ask why not??? It will really take a long time to establish on you why it was said (if said at all)… and just like your teacher.. who replied to you that we are not here to discuss…

        Just read the verse of Quran…Chapter 23 Verse 91

        Sometimes, just to explain some point or logic or sometimes to substantiate the supremacy or importance of something, this way of argument is used. e.g., if i get angry on you and just to show you the level of my anger… i can say… if you were here with me… i would have made you my punch bag….

        this is a very basic thing… and this is the reason why your classmates laughed on you… and also why the teacher refused to discuss it…

        it was not because you asked a genius question or your teacher wanted you to remain in ZULUMAT…….

      • beeb

        i like Lina coment

      • Makhtoum

        Really! What of the CIA drones that kill hundreds of children and innocent civilians every month in Pakistan and Yemen?

        Low life hypocrite.

  14. Erick

    Dear all,
    I am Europeen ( Muslim )living in Saudi Arabia.
    I would like to know if I can be married by misyar and how to do ?
    Many thanks
    Erick

  15. Zain

    Hi I am Zain from Al-Khobar. Any female interested in Misyaar can contact me at 0560=495030. But the lady should be atleast average looking

  16. Faheem

    So, my dear Brothers, we see… what happens, when we allow such things to happen. Misyar or Mataa, both are Haraam for me.

    My reason, is stated above, in the answers and drooling men contact numbers.

    We cannot keep our selves in check, Allah keeps us in check by giving us Quran and Hadices.

    Please dont get sinned (it is Zanaa in an ISLAMIC TOFFEY Rapping)

    If it is “natural” and “Saraai” Just as your self, imagine, your Widow mother or your young sister being wed by a person like you giving a Contact on web site. FEEL IT and tell me, is it HALAAL NOW???

    Allah ma HAQ.
    Fee Amman Allah

    • Muhammad Waseem

      my dear brother,it is 100% halal.dont be emotional in that way.a lady who accepts a muslim man and lives with him with respect,what is wrong in this?even the sister or mother of someone.she needs a man (a good man) to live with her as a nice life partner.in the other way,greedy and dishonest people should be away from this.may Allah subhan wa taala give a good home and good husband to every muslim lady in this world.waseem from kuwait

      • Islam encourages Muslim men to marry the widowed or divorced women in order to reduce the number of single women in the society. But there is a prescribed method of marrying such women and it does not differ from the normal way a woman should be married. A secret marriage is HARRAM (forbidden) in Islam, or a marriage where procreation is not allowed. Non of the men seeking misyar marriage above would want the same for their daughters – enough proof that it is wrong and an un-Islamic practice.

      • Mubashir Hassan

        This is not halal in the spirit of the Islamic Law and will certainly destroy the institution of marriage.

        Someone who is unable to foster the responsibilities because of financial problems can look at the paradigm of Prophet Mohammed (SAW) and Khadija Al Kubra’s marital relationship, will get the answer for the lame excuse of Misyar…..

        Please read and try to understand the Islamic Law in its spirit, instead of trying to look for the words which you can twist according to your desires…..

      • turth hurts

        plz send me your sister,daughter and mother contact numbers

  17. uthman al deen nurain al nigeri

    salam
    dear bro and sis in islam,
    the fact is that this misyar is haram because it makes men able to use women and go away this is same as prostitution in islam which is not allowed at all. it is better for me to have more than one wife legally as the quran and hadiths have allowed even if they want to live in different ares than to do this act, i think we have to be carefull because people will use this to engage in prostitution and harrassment and women will be victims.

    • Muhammad Waseem

      here u r wrong my dear brother,u r not understanding the spirit behind misyar.a rich lady who doesnot require anything in the shape of money,house,car etc but only a good husband to live with him respectably.so she has right to adopt or accept any good practacing muslim man as a pure husband,what is wrong in that.even a poor man can be the husband of rich lady.a lady who has everything and doesnot need except a good husband ,she has right to do so and a man should prove himself a good husband too.May Allah subhan wa taala give us wisdom to understand it.

      • Ittaqullah Muhammad Waseem! Would you want your daughter to be married to a man that has no responsibility whatsoever towards her, but only comes around to sleep with her while she uses her own money to take care of his responsibilities as a husband?

  18. adnan

    haw i can find a mysiar wife

  19. ahmed

    assalam. hi My name is ahmed, I am an islamic and arabic teacher in london. I am already marriad and I would also like to marry some one who wouldnt mind marrying me. if any one can help then please let me know.

    wasslam.

    take care

  20. Muhammad Khan

    Asalam,
    I want to do misyar marriage.

  21. Muhammad Ashraf

    Asalam,
    I like to marry misyar

  22. omar ibn shaykh

    Ya hallaaaa, I’m not sure if its only men who are reading this page lool. So if there are any women who are reading this and are interested in contacting me regarding this noble marriage then contact me. I’m a british Muslim and from London and I reside in Riyadh KSA. 0567333615 BB pin 2275ec37

  23. DEEN

    The site is all about Misyar marriage and the sorry plight in which the Saudi ladies are. They should be given more opportunity to meet and marry the guy whom they wish instead of tying them up with dowry.As you see with the various requests that keep cropping up, I am sure if the ladies are given a chance to choose on their own they can be happy.

  24. Faisal D.

    Hello All,

    Misyaar marriage maybe halal but everything has conditions, like in one place it is said eat and drink is an order of Allah and if you do excess in the same you have broken the law of do no exceed boundaries.

    So dear friends…..dont think Misyaar is Islamic Zina it maybe allowed, we must consult the scholars…at the same time divorce is a thing that shakes the throne of Allah.

    Be Guided always….Regards, Faisal D.

  25. Um-Harun

    assalam alykum,
    I’m a Syrian woman who married a salafi british revert.. I didn’t know that he is playful and he’s only looking for mysiar marriage so after he married me and I got pregnant he got mad and divorced me after couple of months because he married me for pleasure only, no kids and no responsbilities, I didn’t know that.
    he tried to deny his kid and he doesn’t pay child support and never calls to check on his child…
    that is why I will spread the word and say (NO TO MYSIAR MARRIAGE)as it left me devastated and depressed as a single mom with a fatherless child.
    I warn my muslim sisters against this type of modern marriages. Marriage is about sharing a life with a provider, responsible and God-fearing husband… any man seeking mysiar is not sincere and will dump and divorce you as soon as he gets bored with you.They think (WHY BUY THE COW WHEN THEY CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE?)

    I pray to Allah to guide our scholars to reconsider the fatwa that says mysiar marriage is Halal.

    I also ask Allah to bless those respectful men who oppose the idea of mysiar marriage, may Allah grant you paradise Amen

    • Dr Ahmed

      Dear Sister,
      Atlast you rose up against misyar marriage act and make the awareness camp visible to all sisters but with a pinch of small price to pay which you could have avoided it totally beforehanded. This message should reach to every root level of the soiceity and not only that the legal system needs to be remodified and rewritten to totally abolish this practice. May I pray Allah to give you a new life with a well adjustable understanding married life again.

      • Cat

        My hope that you become educated and financially independent. This way you never have to need a husband for all the wrong reasons. Instead if you decide to have a husband it will be because you want a partner. One who will help you achieve everything you hope to achieve in your life and you can help him achieve everything in his life. A woman who cannot traverse the world and understand it cannot provide worldly and profound understanding to her children. A woman who is a slave with a slave mentality can only provide that mentality to her children. Forever bought and sold from one man to another because of ignorance and financial destitute.

    • mazhar

      Hi lady, no offence pl. You want to punish YOURSELF and that FATHERLESS child for the sins of a B…….?
      So go on.
      But, rationally thinking there will be many sincere and God fearing men without a child who would be keen to help u.
      If it is being allowed by religous scholars in IRAN as well as KSA, may be it can help women like you who may be unable to support themselves. This

    • Ahmad

      dear Sis,

      You are absolutely right, it is totally wrong, Marriage is really not a joke, it is the responsibility to have take care of wife to husband, and husband to wife and kids, Allah never said in Quran like the peoples assumed, even never find in Sunnah.

      i am divorced 34 years old living in Saudi Arabia, looking for second marriage, i never give divorced to my Ex-wife but due to her parents she got divorced in Pakistan through Court, i am not against her, May Allah bless her a good life.

      now i am looking for a wife for myself not for time pass, to share my life till my death and after death too.

    • kim

      where did you do the misyar marriage?

    • Akh Muhammad

      Have you found another brother for marriage?

  26. Roberto

    Everywhere else such “marriages” are called prostitution.

  27. You guys have a very strange look upon how this works, and frankly, lack of knowledge regarding how the world works in this matter.

    • The Banana, it works in favour of men and to the disadvantage of women. No doubt, an Islamic marriage contract permits both parties to create their own terms and conditions, but not when it contradicts and ridicules the very pillars of marriage in Islam: like public awareness, procreation and intention for permanency. Those who agree with misyer marriage are thinking of their own selfish needs and not the betterment of society or fairness to the women (who in most cases are desperate). I only heard about this misyer marriage yesterday from a Saudi brother, I could not believe that such a thing was practiced very close to the centre of Islam, whereas a few decades back we were condemning the Shi’ites for legalizing prostitution through the Mut’a marriage. A woman in a misyer marriage has the same rights as a mistress, while that in a mut’a marriage is a mere prostitute.
      The Saudi brother I mentioned earlier wants to marry a Moroccan lady through misyer, keep her secret from his family and never have children with her. Because according to him, and I quote: Saudi’s are superior to other races and he cannot have children with adulterated blood, however, his friend gave him first hand information that Moroccan ladies are wild in bed. I am still shocked over his comment, although Saudi racism is something many of us who have visited the Kingdom have experienced, it was still a shocker to hear it said out loud.
      So to all you men seeking misyer, quit hiding behind the fatwah of the sheiks, it is Allah that you worship and not the sheiks. And you are merely seeking to satisfy your lust with no strings attached. Something VERY un-Islamic. The Prophet (SAW) married both widows and divorcees, but he honoured them and brought them into his household, gave them equal rights as his other wives and shared his time and resources with them equally.
      Fear Allah, He knows the secrets of the heart.

      • Fahd

        I would not discuss anything on Misyar because it is clear like bright sun that it is haram and has been legalized only to suit saudi men’s lusts.

        I, however, just couldn’t stop commenting when I read that “moroccan ladies are wild in bed”…. very sick and pervert statement. And let me tell you… any women can be wild in bed if she is given love and respect. For all those who couldn’t drive their wives wild in bed should look back inside their relationship with their wives because they most probably have lost the love and respect their wives were supposed to have for them.

      • Fahd

        And please stop looking at morocco for wilder wives… look into your own homes… and make your own wives wild.

        Credit for this frustrated behavior goes to the saudi lawmakers… where they have the world’s most bizzare laws for visas and immigration. Un-islamic and against Sharia in true sense and without any doubt…

        No doubt people come to this country rather all other countries to earn money but never do they come here to get enslaved… when they are deprived of their families… what do you think would be the response.. utter frustration.. and this creates social problems.. although you won’t see that in media…

  28. M R Siddiqui

    I’m looking for the girl for misiyar in saudi arabia (medinah) contact me on my mail : rafimcsd@rediffmail.com if anybody interested

  29. khalid

    dear sir
    i am from india, working here in saudia i have question with you i want to
    marriage with saudi girl can it is possible where i contact give me complete
    information my email is siddiui@yahoo.com
    thanks

    • turth hurts

      i cann`t arrange a woman but i can arrange a man for you.If you still interesting in this plz let me know

  30. khalid

    dear sir
    i am from india and i want to marraige with saudi girl can it is possible give me complete information
    thnaks

  31. Alicia

    Men are too silly to be taken seriously. And they most certainly should not be in charge of anyone nor even themselves. I say we appoint guardians for them all!

  32. Karan Davis

    Bismullah Hir Rahma Nir Raheem, Alhamdulilliha Rabil Alameen, Salamu Wa’laikum,

    Sisters why agree to Misyar marriage when there are American Muslim’s living in Kuwait looking and willing to marry Saudi sister’s who really looking for men who really follow this men fear Allah they are looking for wife who fear Allah please contact me by email you have interest my email (davis.karan@yahoo.com) send full information about you.

    Karan Davis

  33. Karan Davis

    Bismullah Hir Rahma Nir Raheem, Alhamdulilliha Rabil Alameen, Salamu Wa’laikum,

    Sisters why agree to Misyar marriage when there are American Muslim’s living in Kuwait who looking and willing to marry Saudi sister’s men who fear Allah they are looking for wife who fear Allah please contact me by email you have interest my email (davis.karan@yahoo.com) send full information about your self.

    Karan Davis

  34. umer

    I am a software engineer looking a woman for misyar marriage living in Dubai. Please contact me if someone interested in misyar marriage sahilumer@yahoo.com

  35. leticia

    Muslims are always calling american’s evil and saying we are living in sin but most arab men are nothing but nasty pigs. They don’t respect woman, only lust after them and use them for sex. Why does one men even need more than one wife? It has nothing to do with making a family bond stronger, it only allows muslim men to be whores that prey on weak minded woman.

    • Ahmad

      Your are truely right. This kind of “marriage” is actually a cultural act only practiced in Middle Eastern countries. It got nothing to do with Islam as there is no mention of it in Quaran.

    • anjum

      ok, second marriage will facilitate the men in the days of mensus & pregnancy. afterall following are obligatory to men beforesecond marriage
      *be able to have sex
      *be able to afford the expenses of his wife.

      • Cat

        To bad you don’t consider the devastating effects of this on your wife or children. I think men who do this deserve nothing but misery.

  36. aboud

    hi , am living in jeddah.looking for real marriage with a saudi girl. plz contact me if some one is interested.

  37. gladiator

    salaamwalakom
    i just have to comment about the people who have left numbers and emails for misyar, sad very sad

    • nikki

      no bro, shameless and desperate comes to mind , need pointing in their mother and sister direction, astagfirullah, shaitaan people

  38. A citizen

    Misyar marriages or Pleasure marriages are endorsed in Islamic Jurisdiction-Of course they are inhumane and treat women like sexual objects, but still they have been practiced by Muhammed himself and his followers since dawn of Islam. Islam allows a man to have sex not only with four wives, who can be renewable, but also have sex with female concubines, which is again what Muhammed himself did.

    • FAS Syed

      Is this meyar is legal as per Islamic / Saudi law. Pls explain.
      FAS Syed

    • muslim

      which citizen you are? mind your language especially while taking the name of the Prophet. you Asshole.

    • HMH

      A citizen – before accusing people (or prophets ) of Misyar please state your proof. It is improper to throw around accusations and insults of people and their culture/values without firm proof and as for the matter of concubines – it was a common practice at the time of Mohammed and all civilizations around that it – this was not unique to Muslims (read history please).

      As for Misyar – I am completely against it as I feel it is a form of abuse to the women – even if they are rich women and they think they don’t need/want anything from the man. God who has created us has given us clear guidelines on what is the union of marriage and its expectations as well as responsibilities. The prophet actually shrived against the people in his society in order to abolish this pre-Islamic practice so as to give women rights and make men responsible for their women (see Muhammad – Karen Armstrong: p.145-147).

      And when people say that this is a practice encouraged by Islam – then they really need to do their research. There are prominent scholars that are against this type of marriage. They agree that outwardly, in terms of the contract it may be deemed valid but the consequences of this marriage is more harmful to the society as a whole. Anyone familiar with Islamic ruling and the principles that govern it will know that if the harm outweighs the benefits then it should be avoided. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Misyar)

      If people are opting for Misyar due to costs of dowry or large weddings etc then they need to find a marriage partner who is willing to live with them within their means. But in most cases it is not about the money but its about lust and irresponsibility. God knows what is concealed in the hearts, so brothers and sisters, be God conscious and do not transgress the limits He has set, for truly the day will come when you will be accounted for your deeds. Do not sale you hereafter for few moments of pleasure in this world .

      • Thank you HMH. Truth is clear from error, but the heedless will always follow their desires. Nevertheless, you have made a good point that should serve as a reminder for all those who fear their meeting with their Lord.

  39. Edson (Pele)

    I am the greatest soccer player ever. I want to play in Saudi Arabia!!

  40. Sameer Khan

    I am looking for misyaar marriage here in England.
    Any araab woman????

  41. Sameer Khan

    I am looking for misyaar marriage here in North West England.
    Any woman interested????

    sameerkhan35@live.com

  42. Arab

    May Allah curse all men who are seeking mysiar here… stupid asian men leaving their numbers thinking saudi girls would marry them, I say get a life losers lol

  43. Ajmal Shah

    If it is in KURRAN then it is legal,i want some some for this marriage,a divorcee or a widower aged from 25 to 40… my mail is ajmalgillani at yahoo dot com,Please help give my name to some one so she has a man in her life too.
    Ajmal Shah

  44. Muhammad Amjad

    I am Muhamamd Amjad from Pakistan. Misyar is a great sin and is a Zina. I hope God will give us Hidayat.

  45. Dr Ahmed

    Reading comments so far would give a mixed bag opinion about misyar marriage with pros and cons ideas to a common man. God has craeated mankind to do the right thing what His books say and Misyar system is a totally abused one where people practice for pleasure with some legal aid and it’s totally unacceptable. Think if it were your sisters and daughters in their position and will you allow misyar on them by men? It’s an act of prostitution and it’s not an exageration and must be banned fom the soceity for ever.

  46. multi- talented

    Dear all,

    It appears that a lady wanted to discuss and or debate the issue of misyar marriages and Pakistani men think that its an opportunity to get to sleep with Saudi women, and so leave their numbers.
    Misyar marriages were developed in order to allow women to enjoy intimacy with a man in a society that has its head buried in the sand. 70% of saudi marriages end in divorse and a lot of the remainder either endure multiple marriages or husbands that stray in Dubai, cairo, lebanon or any where else they go. Saudi women are disadvantaged by the law and in tribal culture. The only solution is to have a marriage that she can get out of when she needs other wise she should suffer in silence……..

    • Saudi women should look outside the shores of saudi arabia for good husbands, rather than letting themselves suffer and endure humiliation from saudi men. This is the price they are paying for racism and for thinking that marrying an asian or african is a downgrade. There are billions of Muslim men in the world, restricting themselves to saudi men is like shutting away Allah’s mercy. Whereas believing men in other parts of the world respect and adore their women.

  47. Dr Ahmed

    In reply to multi-talented, the misayr marriage in this context is a false protection to a woman because she can have a husband but not kids and there is a stipulated time window after which the so called husband has the right to leave her and go for ever! How can it be solemnised as “marriage” and one has to give a different unpollitical word for these acts.

  48. ali

    Hi,I am Ali (Pakistani),31 years….I am based in Dammam and interested in Misyar Marriage.Any lady,,,,widow or divorced if really interested,,,,,contact me….

  49. ali

    Hi,I am Ali (Pakistani),31 years….I am based in Dammam and interested in Misyar Marriage.Any lady,,,,widow or divorced if really interested in true relations,,,,,contact me….,,,

  50. ali

    Hi,I am Ali (Pakistani),31 years….I am based in Dammam and interested in Misyar Marriage.Any lady,,,,widow or divorced if really interested,,,,,contact me…..my email is ……saqibsaki1@yahoo.com

  51. Waqar

    I believe it is a new way adopted by Wahabis to wrap their sexual lust in Islam. They have done this since the age of Wahabddin who tried to destablised Islamic teachings just to please Al Saud tribe. These Wahabis are using the name of Islam to promote their ill and psychic nature which is very close to animals. To confirm my analysis please read the histories of Wahabuddin and Al Saud Family.
    May Allah destroy these Kafir Wahabis. Ameen

  52. kelly

    HALAL PROSTITUTION ( SHOULD B THE REAL NAME)

  53. Aamir (Pakistan)

    I wonder how our Muslim brothers are interested in a contract that implicitly leads to prostitution. A simple rule should be “any way or practice that leads to haraam is haraam”, Allah knows better. Second, we should ask our hearts whether they are satisfied despite our so called Ulemas’ rulings because only we’re to be answerable for our deeds on the day of judgement. May Allah guide us on a right path (aameen).

  54. I can’t believe this act of prostitution is legal and practiced in saudi arabia. Horrible, there is no such (misyar) thing is Islam, marriage is the only valid relation between man and a woman.
    Allah says in surah Al-Nisa verse 24
    “Also (prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess: Thus hath Allah ordained (Prohibitions) against you: Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust, seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree Mutually (to vary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise.”

    I’m shocked Saudis are not following Quran, dont they understand it. Im very upset after reading this. (O Allah, keep us on the right path)

  55. Awad

    What is wrong with getting into a Misyar Marriage ? I would like to find a Saudi Woman whom I could proof that man can take care and respect also divorced women. In particular when you are a foreigner without Saudi roots it is so difficult to find an honest contact. I am from Germany ( muslim) and so this way of marriage could help to get into the local sociaty. Any Woman from Jeddah interested in details can contact me by mail: niceplanet at web.de

  56. Yaser

    May ALLAH show us the right path, Ameen.

  57. simone Iberlin

    i have a friend who has 2 children and now she has 2 children from a misyar but there was no contract or verbal agrement of any kind she is divorced from her 2nd ex husband and met this saudi man while in saudi arabia in riyadh he has stopped carring for her and the children three of her children are american and one is not she want to leave because the marriage was a sham he has another wife and children as well. she says she is going to leave with all 4 children without him knowing it if she can because she met this saudi man on the run with 2 of her children after her ex husband left her there in saudi arabia and nver came back what should she do?

  58. Atif

    I really am upset after reading this article . Marrying is not like a contract , it is the matter of love , life etc.
    What is this ? what’s wrong with the people ?

    Allah please show us the right path- amen

  59. jut

    if any saudi lady intrested contact me

  60. irshad sheikh

    i think this kind of marriage has no place in islamic society.these kind of man and woman may be honest to each other but not to the people where they are hiding their relationships.
    in america and european continent people may live under common law or domestic partnership where they are not hypocrat in their actions toward the society.
    islam does not direct to have hypocratic relations with any muslim or non muslim.
    so in saudi arabia they should prohibit such marriages, if they can not,then what american and europeans are doing wrong.

    irshad sheikh 03/03/2012

  61. areef

    Fluent english

  62. Arif

    Dear Brothers & Sisters…

    Lot of misconception about Islam and marriage as per Sharia law. Islam teaches us that marriage make couples bond with legal relationships, not like western countries, where men are sleeping daily with different women and even living without marriage too. Ignore the silly comments from western people, who always disrespect the religion of peace and prosperity.

    • Arif, the westerns are trying to point out to us Muslims that if we continue with this hypocritical & oppressive marriage called misyar, then we are no better than them. Hell, in fact they are better than us, because they are not hiding under the banner of religion to commit sin and various forms of injustice.

  63. Simone

    Wow! What a debate! I invite you all to consider what God says about marriage in the Bible, that a man will leave his parents and join his wife (one wife, that is). That a man will love his wife the same way Jesus loves his people – he died for them as a sacrifice to take away the shame of sin and give them honor and peace with God. And the wife is to respect her husband the leader of their home.

    Arif, the secular men of the west sleeping with women violate God’s ways for sex as do Muslim men marrying more that one wife, having a misyar wife, or sleeping with a woman ‘his right hand possesses’. The only difference I see between these men is that usually the non-religious western men don’t pretend God approves of their sexual sins but the Muslim men do.

  64. Ashraf Ali

    Say: O disbelievers! I worship not that which ye worship; Nor worship ye that which I worship. And I shall not worship that which ye worship. Nor will ye worship that which I worship. Unto you your religion, and unto me my religion. QURAN 109:1-6

    The bible has been CHANGED and the Quran is the TRUTH whether YOU Christian SIMONE believe it or not

    • Simone

      Dear Ashraf Ali,
      You say that the Bible has been changed? Astaghfurallah! May God forgive this blasphemy.

      If the Bible has been changed, then this means that people are stronger than God. God promises to keep His word. Once He gives His word, He protects it. As a Muslim, don’t you believe that God gave the Torah (Books of Moses), the Zabur (Psalms of David) and the Injeel (the Gospel of Jesus Christ)? Then who changed it? Why was it changed? And where is the unchanged original, since we know God protects His revelations?

      We have many copies of the Bible, in the original Hebrew and Greek, from before Muhammad’s birth. They have the same meaning as my modern English translated Bible. And the Bible includes the Jewish Scriptures (Torah and Prophets), and they read the same as the Scriptures of modern Jews who do not believe in the Injeel or Jesus as Messiah. Yet they confirm that the Christian Old Testament is the same as their Scriptures. So do you propose that Jews and Christians of numerous different denominations all conspired together to change God’s Word? When did this happen? Before or after Muhammad’s birth?

      The Bible is the truth of God, Jesus is the Word of God, our sacrifice, our Adha, to make us clean and give us peace with God. I sincerely wish you the blessings and peace of God.

      • Ashraf Ali

        All praise and thanks be to Allah, Lord of mankind and all that exsists.
        I testify their is no god worthy of worship in truth except Allah, alone, without partner and I testify that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is his slave and Messenger.

        To proceed:

        Dear Simone, I admit I was a bit harsh to you; sorry.
        I mean, like none of us are perfect, right?
        So..you either gonna believe in my prophet (Muhammad) – peace be upon him or disbelieve in him. Right?

        That’s the one thing it boils down to. Right?

        Allah has commanded the muslims in the qur’an to say, which means:
        Say (O Muslims), “We believe in Allâh and that which has been sent down to us and that which has been sent down to Ibrâhim (Abraham), Ismâ’il (Ishmael), Ishâque (Isaac), Ya’qûb (Jacob), and to Al-Asbât [the twelve sons of Ya'qûb (Jacob)], and that which has been given to Mûsa (Moses) and ‘Iesa (Jesus), and that which has been given to the Prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and to Him we have submitted (in Islâm).” (Al-Baqarah 2:136)

        So the difference between us and you firstly, is that you do the trinity thing whereas we worship Allah alone without applying to him an image, partner or associate; wether that be of a man, statue, etc.

        Rather we say: The Creator of the heavens and the earth. He has made for you mates from yourselves, and for the cattle (also) mates. By this means He creates you (in the wombs). There is nothing like unto Him, and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer. (Ash-Shura 42:11)

        Secondly, a difference between us, is the belief in the Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him
        Allah said in his noble book, which means: Muhammad (peace be upon him) is not the father of any man among you, but he is the Messenger of Allâh and the last (end) of the Prophets. And Allâh is Ever All­Aware of everything. (Al-Ahzab 33:40

        So Dear Simone, let me tell you..
        I am passionate about my religion and you seem to be passionate about yours. Hate me not for my mistakes but rather discover the respect I have for Jesus as a Muslim and how my faith honours him, respects him and reveres him:
        http://www.islamjesus.ws

        May God Bless YOU oh Simone and peace to YOU.

        So long.

        Ashraf Ali.

      • Nia

        Ashraf Ali,
        Hmmmmm….You didn’t reply at all to what Simone posted.

        You said the Bible had been changed.
        She countered with exactly why that would be impossible.
        Instead of replying with your reasons, evidence, proof, or what have you,
        you countered with the fact that she doesn’t believe in your prophet and that is the issue.
        ?????

        I thought the issue was the Bible and whether it has been changed.

      • Abdul Majid

        Yo man, let me clear one thing, Bible is not the world of God niether the book of God. Bible was given to Jesus as a book.
        This is only Quran “Word of Allah (God)” and the Book of Allah (God). so the promise to keep it secure is only for Quran not for any other book.

      • Simone

        Glory be to God, the Creator of heaven and earth!
        Ashraf Ali, peace be with you. No worries about any harshness! I, too, can be harsh when I’m passionate about something. And you’re right, none of us is perfect. We are all sinners who can never be good enough to please the God of justice with our own good works. Praise God that he is so merciful that he sent us Jesus, who lived a sinless life, and then died willingly to satisfy God’s anger at sin. In the Injil, God says that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. This is God’s mercy, through Jesus, offered to you, and all Muslims!

        As far as the trinity goes, I agree completely that it’s hard to understand. One God, yet in three persons? Three distinct persons, yet one in essence, completely unified? This blows my mind. But who am I to tell God, “I can’t understand this, so it must not be true.” God forbid! God reveals himself and we accept his revelation, even if it is hard to understand. O God, you speak and I say, I submit, your ways are higher than mine!

        Nia is right, you haven’t explained how humans can change the books that God gives :)

        We believe in all the prophets God has sent and the Bible includes all of their messages. I do not believe everyone who claims to be a prophet is one. Neither do you, I think. Do you believe Murza Ghulan Ahmad (died 1908) is a prophet? He was a Muslim and claimed to be a prophet. Do you believe Jospeh Smith (19th century) of the Mormons is a prophet? He claimed an angel came to him and revealed the words of a book from heaven to him. He would get these messages from this ‘angel’ and then his followers would record them. His book is called the Book of Mormon. I don’t believe he’s a prophet because the message this angel gave him is contrary to what we already know is God’s word, the Bible, and God doesn’t lie.

        Abdul Majid, God didn’t ‘give’ Jesus a book like you believe he gave Muhammed a book. Jesus himself is the Kalimat Allah, the Word of God. He lived, taught, performed miracles, loved well, willingly gave his life and then rose from the dead. All this was witnessed by his apostles who then recorded the events they saw with their own eyes. Some other apostles later became believers and then interviewed eyewitnesses to Jesus’ life and recorded this. The apostles, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of God, also wrote letters after Jesus went back to heaven, to explain what Jesus did more fully and how to live. These books are the Injil, or the New Testament. Of course, it is protected by God because he gave it to us. I encourage you to read it.

        May God richly bless youl, and guide us all in the right path.

      • papa natu

        Yes, It is TRUE that Bible was changed it is not from God, Why? Because if it is from God you can not find any single error or contradictions. The facts that Bible has so many versions will prove that Bible was changed. If you are Catholic your Bible contains more books than Protestant Bible. Almost every Christian sects has its own version of Bible and claim that its from God. According to Jehovah Witness magasize Bilble has more than thousand errors and yet if you asks any Christian where there doctrines and teachings came from, they will say from the Bible.

      • papa natu

        Judge not a Book By its cover. Open your Bible and read it thouroughly and be honest, So many contradictions and you wil find some verses not fit to propagate or teach to people specially young child because it contain stories of lewdness,immoral, sex and stories of incest. Do you know what incest mean? Do you think this is from God?

      • Simone

        Papa Natu, you speak of common Muslim accusations against the Bible, but I challenge you to consider whether they are true or not. And we must look at the qur’an with the same standard. It’s not a matter of my side or your side, but God’s truth.

        God inspired men to write the Bible and only the original (in Hebrew, Greek languages) are without error. We have thousands of copies and the writings of early Christians (before Muhammad’s time) so we know that what we have today is the only Bible that has ever existed. Of course, there are some copy errors (mispelled words, dropping a letter, etc), but nothing that changes doctrine. Christians preserved all the copies including those with copy errors.

        The ‘versions’ you speak of are just translations into different languages, all based on the original copies in Hebrew (Old Testament) and Greek (New Testament). I have 3 copies of the qur’an in English, each a different translation, yet you wouldn’t call those different versions.

        On the other hand, after Muhammed died, faithful Muslims from different communities compiled the qur’an, so there were mulitiple versions. Decades after Muhammad’s death, Caliph Uthman picked the version he agreed with and ordered all others burned (ref: Hadith Bukari). Even then, there were variant copies used, including Ibn Mas’ud’s version. The differences were significant, with verses left out. Uthman’s version had no vowels and was written in a different Arabic script, so in the 9th century, vowles were added to the now Standard version, possibly changing the meaning of the some words. So, I can’t say if the modern qur’an truly contains Muhammad’s words, but it is surely a book compiled by men, not an error free book delivered from Heaven.

        As for the Catholic Bible, in the 1500s, they added 7 books to their Old Testament, which is the Jewish portion of Scripture. The Catholic Church doesn’t have the authority to add to the Jewish Scripture, so no need to fuss about this!

        The Bible is from God, my friend! And this God is calling you to follow him! The peace of God be with you.

      • fahd

        simone… im impressed by your knowledge but let me clarify there are some flaws as far as your understanding of the Islamic knowledge is concerned. Specifically about the finer points you have discussed regarding compilation of the Quran.

        No muslims would deny the fact that Bible is not the word of God… It is part of our eman to have a belief in the Prophets and the books revealed to them.

        And yes… Allah is calling all of us towards Him… And in the end I would thank you for wishing us the PEACE of God … Alhumdolillah it is already with us.. the ISLAM .. the Peace…

        In return i would just translate your wish back to you…

        May Allah’s Islam be with you…

        drop me a line at fahdaftab at yahoo dot com …i would welcome..that…

      • Sorry Simone, but it is common knowledge that the Bible is not in its original form. Different Christian denominations have their own version of the Bible, each claiming that their copy is the real thing. Even if there was one Bible, are you forgetting that it was not originally revealed in English? And it is impossible to translate a book without losing some of its meaning. Perhaps you need to study the history of Christianity some more and stop quoting Islamic texts to support your arguments.

      • Simone

        Dear Zainab,
        You claim that it is ‘common knowledge’ that the Bible has been changed. I will challenge you as I have others – How can men change books that God gave to His prophets? When were they changed and by whom? And why do we have copies from centuries before Muhammed of the same Bible we have today? To claim the Bible is changed means men are stronger than God. Please answer this.
        And pls read my previous posts! Again, I’ll say that there is only ONE VERSION of the Bible, but MANY TRANSLATIONS. Different churches prefer different translations. Some like a ‘word for word’ translation and others a ‘thought for thought’ translation.
        You seem frustrated that so many fellow Muslims support misyar marriages which are obviously just a way for men to satisfy their lust with God’s supposed approval. I sympathize with you! But I think marriage woes for Muslim women are a problem that will never go away, since your prophet, who Muslims think is their model in everything, had many wives as well as those ‘his right hand owned’.
        I hope you and all women have a wonderful marriage so I suggest you look at the only perfect model for all mankind, Jesus the Messiah, who came 600 years before Muhammed. Jesus never used a woman for sex, he told men to be faithful to their (one!) wife and that a man should love his wife the way Jesus loves us – he sacrificed his life to give us honor and make us clean and to take away our shame.

        Blessings and the mercy of God to you as you seek the right path.

      • Listen Simone, common sense will tell you that when a book is translated in different ways to suit the preferences of the reader, then it looses its original meaning and becomes a thing of fancy. I’m not even going to go into the debate of whether the Bible is God’s word or not, since most of what is in the Bible that you are currently holding was written by Paul and other unknown men. When I say unknown men, I mean Mathew, John, Peter…people whom you don’t know who they are, not their origin, not even their surname. They could be made up names for all you know! The Bible that we Muslim call the word of God is the original revelation to Jesus Christ, because surely a book was revealed to him. And it is not the distortion that you people call the word of God today. And YES, it is very possible for people to change the word of God, all they have to do is take the book and change the words…simple! The Quran cannot be changed because it is memorized in full and by heart by thousands of Muslims around the globe, this was the practice from the very beginning, even as it was being directly revealed to the Prophet (SAW) and he was reciting it out loud to the people. AT THAT VERY POINT IN TIME. Mind you people of those days couldn’t read or write, they had to rely on the power of memory for everything, unlike most of us today that can’t remember simple digits. You yourself rightly pointed out that the Quran was compiled into a book only during the time of Uthman’s (RA) Caliphate. This is because there was really no need to have it in a book, not when everyone had it in his heart. So it is not possible to change the Quran without even a 10 year old knowing that the verses have been changed. To change the Quran, you would have to kill every single Muslim that has memorized the Quran, then you change it and no one will know the better.
        Now it’s time for me to throw you my challenge: Show me anywhere in the Bible that Jesus Christ said “I am God, worship me”. And also any place where in the Bible he said “marry only one wife”, which you accused him of saying.
        I am very contented with polygamy as it was practiced by the honourable prophets of God: Abraham, Solomon, David, Job, and many others. And if you respected them one bit and believed that they were holy prophets of God as Jesus himself believed, then you would not be insulting something that they were proud to practice openly. My only contention with misyar is that it is practiced secretly by some men and the women are treated like mistresses without the full rights of wife. People should practice polygamy openly and with pride as did the prophets in the Bible who took the women as wives, brought them into their household and gave them equal standing.
        The problem with the Islamic society is when they begin to adopt your concept of monogamy, which gives men the only alternative of legalizing prostitution or keeping a range of mistresses.

      • Simone

        Dear Zainab, you’ve made many claims and I’m happy to discuss them all, though probably in separate posts so it won’t be too long.
        First, concerning marriage. You say you support Islamic polygamy- 4 wives. I’m curious if this is theoretical only – are you single or the only wife of your husband and/or living in the west where polygamy is illegal or are you the wife of a man with 4 wives living in a Muslim country?
        I understand your point about only objecting to the secrecy of a misyar marriage and not the idea of open polygamy. Given the choice between the two, I’d probably agree, especially if I was the first boss lady wife and the others did most of the housework!
        But your argument against biblical monogamy – that constricting a man to only one woman would unnecessarily force him to seek illicit affairs – this can also be said of restricting man to only 4 women. After all, even 4 women can get old and tiresome and we all know a man’s natural sexual appetite can easily go through many more women. You pointed out yourself how many wives Kings David and Solomon had. Even your prophet enjoyed more that 4 wives.
        So, whether it is 4 or 14, at some point a man will need to restrain himself. The question is : after how many wives does God require a man to say no more. I believe God has given us the answer as one wife.
        More on that later ….

      • Simone

        Here’s my take on why followers of Jesus believe in monogamy:

        First, God gave Adam only one wife, Eve. It was only after they sinned, and sin became a part of our world and every person that we see polygamy. We first hear of polygamy with Lamech (6 generations from Adam through Cain’s line) and he’s not described as a nice guy.
        As for the patriarch’s wives and David’s and Solomon’s, well, the books of the prophets unreservedly report the trouble mulitiple wives bring even to God’s prophets. Think: Sarah and Hagar; Leah and Rachel and so on.

        By the time of Jesus, Jewish polygamy had declined, through God’s mercy. Jesus was asked about whether divorce was allowed because the religious leaders wanted to trick him into speaking against the Law of Moses. He told them that ‘Moses permitted you to divorce because of the hardness of your hearts…but I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery’. This doesn’t make much sense if you could marry multiple wives. Notice also that he doesn’t say “if anyone divorces one of his wives’, but ‘his wife’. Jesus also refers us back to Adam and Eve (a monogamous relationship) as the model for marriage and says, ‘a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife’. Again, not wives. Later under the inspiration of God’s Holy Spirit, the apostle Paul lays out the qualifications to be a leader and includes being the ‘man of one wife’.

        And then, I believe the historical record of the early believers shows that polygamy was not allowed.
        But, this is a secondary issue, not the most important. And I realize that a (very small) minority of Christians believe polygamy is OK. I might be wrong on my reading of Scripture, but I think it is reasonable.
        Next time on to more important matters…

      • Simone

        Dear Zainab,

        You say it is a simple matter to change God’s books. Take the pen, make the change and viola! But there are big problems with this idea.

        First, it means that even though you believe God ‘gave’ Moses, David and Jesus books, He didn’t protect or preserve them. He allowed men to take His books and change them, leaving no record of the original. Or men were strong enough to override God’s protection. God forbid! By this same reasoning the Qur’an could have been changed (I’ll address your idea of a perfecting preserved Qur’an next time).

        Secondly, it is unbelievable that men could have changed the ‘original’ books and leave not one single copy of the original, with no evidence of when it was changed, by whom and for what reason. Before or after Muhammed?

        Consider the Gospels (injil): Jesus died and rose again around AD 33. The Gospels were written by eyewitness companions of Jesus (Matthew and John) and by companions of Jesus’ closest followeres (Luke and Mark) who lived at the same time. The injil is written and pass around between AD 33 and AD 100. During this time, the eyewitnesses to Jesus’ life were still alive. If anything false was written, there would have been an outcry from the eyewitnesses and we would have some kind of evidence or documentation of this. But there is none, because everyone knew that the injil was true. The Jews of this time were persecuting Christians, trying to make them deny the resurrection of Jesus, the Son of God. Jesus’s companions were all martyered (except John the Beloved) because they held on to this truth – that Jesus was the Son of God and he rose from the dead. If there was ever a time to change the message of the injil, it was then, to save their lives. Yet it remains.

        Then between AD 100 and AD 325, when all the eyewitnesses are dead, Christians were severely persecuted by the Romans and disliked by the Jews. They were scattered everywhere and hunted by many. Hardly a time to pull off a grand strategy of changing the injil without a trace of the old one. We have many partial copies of the injil from this time. And we have the writings of the early church leaders from this time and they include so many quotes from the injil (and the books of Moses, David and the other prophets) that we could almost recreate the entire Bible with only their writings. And all of the copies and writings match the Bible we have today!

        Then from AD 325 to now, believers have continued to faithfully copy and carefully translate the Bible so that every person of every language can learn about God and His beautiful love for us. We have thousands of copies of the Bible from way back, partial copies and complete copies. And all of them match what we have today. We even have copies of the Bible from before Muhammed was born – and they are all the same as the one we have today.

        So, as easy as it is to pick up a pen and change one piece of paper, it is quite another to pass it off as the authentic Bible.

        More to come, but for now, blessings to you and your family.

      • Zainab

        Dear Simone, you appear to be someone who sticks to her own perceptions about what is true and what is not, regardless of the clear evidence that confronts you. Otherwise, how can you say that it is impossible for man to change the words in a written book? You say that God would not give His permission, that it would be denying God’s power of protection. So let me ask you, did God give His permission to all those people committing sins and breaking His commandments? Did God give His permission to those people who killed His prophets and the believing Christians who were martyred through history because of their belief? Were they not most deserving of the power of protection of God? The answer to all these questions is YES, God gave His permission, because nothing happens without His permission. It is all part of His divine master plan. If the Torah wasn’t altered by the rabbis to suit their worldly desires, God would not have sent Jesus with a scripture that confirms what is in the original Torah and with new commandments. And if you do not believe that the Torah was altered, then ask yourself why they so desperately wanted to kill Christ. Furthermore, if the Bible had not been altered, misinterpreted and further augmented with fictitious tales by men claiming to receive revelations from the “holy ghost”, God would not have sent Mohammed, the seal of the prophets, with the complete revelation. Being the last and final prophet, God in His infinite mercy promised to preserve His final revelation from any form of change till the end of time. Unlike the Bible, the Quran is in it’s true original pure Arabic form, just as it was revealed. You claim that dots were added here & there which could have altered the meaning, this proves your total ignorance of the Arabic language. Are you saying that Arabic newspapers can be read with different interpretations because they have no vowels? The Quran with vowels and without vowels have the exact same meaning, the vowels were added to make it easy for non-Arabs to read it without necessarily knowing the language. I read the Quran, but I do not speak Arabic. Secondly, the Quran cannot be translated, only the ‘translation of the meaning of the Quran’ is available to help convey its message. You must learn Arabic to fully enjoy the revelation. the Bible on the other hand is a translated copy, do you have a copy in the biblical Aramaic language? Well even if you do, no one can translate it for you cos nobody speaks biblical Aramaic.
        Then you claim that all translations of the Bible are the same thing. When someone says “I am a child of God” and when someone says “I am the son of God”, is it the same thing?
        Now, we all know that only God’s prophets receive revelations from heaven, so how can you say that Paul received revelations from God? Was he a prophet? Did Jesus say a prophet named Paul will come after me who will receive revelations from heaven? We know Moses told us that Jesus will come after him, and Jesus told us that Mohammed will come after him. Well, maybe you don’t know. But I can send you proof on request (email me: zainab212@yahoo.com). And I am not ready to accept anything you quote Jesus as saying, if the narration came from one of the ‘Johns’, ‘Johuas’ or ‘Mathews’ whose true identities cannot be verified. In Islam, anyone who claims that the Prophet (SAW) said something, that person has to be a reputable individual in the society and his narration must be corroborated by other reputable persons who had heard something similar said by the Prophet, or it should at least be inline with the general principles of belief where only he and the Prophet were present. If what he is claiming the Prophet to have said diverges from fundamental teachings of Islam, and only he heard it, then it just can’t be accepted. And where there is a testimony that that person has ever spoken a lie in his life, then his narration is rejected completely, no matter how true it is. We don’t take chances when it comes to quoting Allah or His Messenger. Someone cannot just wake up and narrate an incidence where Jesus forbade divorce & polygamy long after Jesus is gone and is not there to defend himself, Whereas during his lifetime it was practiced.
        The Bible says the most demeaning and insulting things about its prophets, calling them adulterers, sorcerers and incestuous, so I’m not particularly surprised if the first man mentioned to have practiced polygamy was described as a ‘not nice guy’ in the Bible. You neither have proof that he was the first to practice polygamy in creation or that Adam only married Eve, we only know that Eve was his first wife. You do not know how many children Adam had or how many wives he had, but certainly his children were not only two males (Cane & Able).
        You do not like polygamy, that is your cup of tea. But do not try to get personal here, because you have no idea what I am ready to do to support my religion. Maybe you have come across some Muslims who take what they like of the Quran and leave what they don’t like, just as the majority of Christians implement what they like of the Bible and ignore the rest of the prohibitions (e.g. eating pork and drinking intoxicants). Well, I am not one of those Muslims, I take the Quran in totality and implement it in full in my life and I am constantly striving to perfect my worship of Allah and obedience to His messenger. God is good and only good comes from Him, I cannot believe in Him and then think that polygamy is good only so far as it does not apply to me. That is called hypocrisy in Islam.
        I wish to bring this debate to an end, because neither you nor myself are equipped to continue this discussion, because we are not experts in theology and our knowledge of religious history is limited. However, here is a link where two of the best experts from both sides debated whether the Bible is the word of God: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlA22NNFlDw

      • By the way, you mentioned that Jesus is the kalimatullah, every creature on this earth is the kalimatullah. All God had to do is say BE, and it was. That is how He created this earth. And if you think that not possessing a father automatically means that God is the father, then what about Adam who neither had a mother or a father, maybe you should worship him instead. He was also the first man, so I really can’t see why you don’t worship him. And if you say that Jesus is the spirit, don’t we all have God’s spirit in us, what do you think it is that gives us life. The spirit entered Mary and she conceived, the same spirit that entered your mother’s womb and she conceived you.
        The brother who asked for your contact to discuss with you in private was only trying to save you public humiliation.

      • Simone

        Dear Zainab,
        I hope you are well. To reply to your challenge, “Show me where Jesus said, “Worship me'”. Yes, I wish Jesus had stood up on the temple steps and yelled, “Worship me”, but my ways are not God’s ways. But it is good to want to know what Jesus said about himself and what God the Father said about him.
        The injil records two times where God himself spoke from heaven about Jesus in front of witnesses. First, when Jesus was being baptized, He said, “You are my Son in whom I am well pleased.” (Luke 3). Later, in front of Jesus’ companions, God said, ‘This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased. Listen to him.” (Matthew 17)
        Notice – Jesus didn’t go into a cave or go into a private trance, with no witnesses and then claim, “I have a message from God. Trust me.”

        Then, Jesus said he would be betrayed by men, crucified and rise from the dead on the third day. Read John Chapter 5. Here he calls himself the Son of God and the Son of Man (a title from the prophet Daniel, 500 BC, referring to One who has authority, power and divine glory). He also says that God wants all to honor Jesus just as they honor God and if you don’t, then you don’t honor God!
        So, whether people accept it or not, Jesus claims to be much more than a prophet. Jesus calls you and all people to him and offers peace with God and rest for the weary.

      • Dear Simone,
        If you believe that what you have of the Bible is superior to the Quran and that your beliefs are nearer to the truth than what we believe in, then stick to your religion and I will stick to mine. There is only one God and He will judge between us in truth come Judgment Day.

        Adios.

      • Waseem

        well said zainab,afterall this is the way to get rid of this kind of thoughts.Simone doestnt want to find out the way of truth so let the Allah s w t to be the best judge on judgement day.

      • Yeah, you’re right Waseem. It took me some time to realize that it is impossible to reason with her.

      • Simone

        Dear Zainab,
        My apologies, I didn’t see your ‘goodbye’ post before I wrote my last one. I will respond though to a few more of your claims.
        There are reasons to doubt that the modern qur’an is not the original. First, Muhammed’s original messages were memorized by Muslims, most of whom were killed shortly after his death. During Uthman’s rule, Zayd gathered the varied verses. But there were differing versions, each memorized by faithful Muslims, from various communities – Madina, Mecca, Basra, Rufa and Damascus, so on. Uthman proclaimed the Madina version the correct one and ordered all the other versions destroyed, upon punishment of death, no doubt. If there was only one version in all the communities, Uthman would not have ordered them burned.
        The oldest copy of the qur’an that I’m aware of is in Yemen, from a little before 750 AD. Scholars who studied it said there was evidence of variations and different verse ordering (I’ve heard Muslims claim that the order itself is from God). This copy also seems to be written on top of older writings that were washed off (changed). But we all know that objective research along these lines isn’t permitted and would result in death threats.
        But in the end, even if you have an exact copy of Muhammed’s words, you still just have the words of a man who claimed to be a prophet without any miracle to confirm it nor witnesses to his angelic messages. By miracle, I mean something that goes against the natural laws (not a giftedness), done in front of witnesses that confirms a prophet is really a prophet. Moses had many, Elijah, and Jesus, of course, had the most amazing ones, such as raising the dead, curing the sick and blind, and rising from the dead himself, all done in front of witnesses.

        Muhammed seemed to believe the Torah, Zabur and Injil to be from God. There was no copy of these books in Arabic during his lifetime, so he couldn’t compare his ideas to God’s Word. The claim that one book replaced the other has no support, even in the qur’an. Where does the qur’an say that God gave Moses the Torah, but the Jews changed it, then He gave them the Zabur and they changed it, then He gave the Injil to the Christians and they messed it up? I haven’t studied the qur’an much, so maybe it does say this, but where? I have read that Muhammed said he came to confirm the previous books and he told Jews and Christians they should read their books. Obviously, he wouldn’t say this if he thought the correct books didn’t exist.
        And, if God sent the Injil (New Testament) to the Christians because the Jews had changed the other books, why it is that in the 600 years between Jesus and Muhammed that NO Christian ever claimed that the Jews changed their books? The opposite is true – Christians have always accepted the same books the Jews do. And when you read the Injil, you find dozens of direct quotes from the same Jewish Scriptures that exist today. All this agreement, even though the Jews had Jesus killed and persecuted the early Christians. Yet Christians before and after Muhammed have always agreed that the Jews never changed the books. And if the Jews tried to change them, they did a bad job, since there are many references to Jesus, in whom they don’t believe, in their books.
        The replacement idea came years after Muhammed’s lifetime, when Muslims finally were able to read the Scriptures in their own language. To their horror, they discovered that Muhammed’s message didn’t agree with the other books. But humbly accepting God’s Word was unthinkable – agreeing with the hated Jews and Christians. Their military empire was at stake. So they developed the ‘corruption and replacement’ theory even though there wasn’t and isn’t a shred of evidence for it.

        There is more to say, but this will do. I realize you and our friend, Waseem, think I’m foolish. Yes, I’ll be a fool. There was a time when I thought I was so smart – I had academic and professional acolades, respect and responsibility. I thought I was too smart for the God of the Bible. But God pursued me with His beautiful love. I didn’t find Him because I was reasonable, smart or good. He found me. I love him because He first loved me. I praise Him and thank Him so much. He is amazing.
        I truly hope you find an amazing husband (or that you already have) who will love you and treasure you, You are smart and passionate and I wish both you and Waseem the best.

      • Simone, guess what. I have perfect answers in response to all the issues you brought up, but I really can’t be bothered to explain them to you. Know why? It’s because if you were someone who was seeking the truth you would have easily found it in the same manner you found all those distorted versions of Islamic history. You Christians have been fond of distorting history to the extent that you changed your own religious history to claim that Jesus is a God, now you are attempting to distort Islamic history in the same manner. There are websites established and numerous books published to discredit and spread false information about Islam, do you see any Muslim setting up a website for the purpose of attacking Christianity and spreading defamation about Jesus Christ? We Muslims don’t really care what you chose to believe or worship, because the truth is out in the open for all those who wish to seek it. Many ‘true’ Christians are converting to Islam because they sought the truth and God guided them to the truth, it is His promise to guide all those who seek to find Him. I cannot count the number of true believing Christians who will tell you that the Bible led them to Islam (you can read their accounts all over the internet). But in your case, you hope that using false arguments to discredit the true religion will help you to firmly establish your own belief in Christianity, because deep down inside you are riddled with doubt and confusion which you use false arguments to hide. This is the only way I can explain your adamancy and mulishness, because your motives really can’t be to convince me. How can I trade truth for error, guidance for ignorance, certainty for doubt? Let me tell you something, there is no Muslim in the world who will trade Islam for Christianity, except the deviant and sinful who favour the ‘leniency’ of Christianity because they deem it would permit them to commit sin and atrocities without the accompanying guilt, afterall ‘Jesus died for our sins’. A statement that goes contrary to the very teachings of Jesus and those sent before him. There are some Muslims that don’t practice the deen, but they would rather die as Muslims than convert to manifest falsehood.
        Now, you are free to comfort yourself with whatever version of the account of Islamic history that you wish to take and also hide your doubts behind whatever statements made in the Bible by heaven knows who. All I ask of you is to leave me alone, because I have the feeling that my words will continue to fall on deaf ears. It’s not like I don’t have your best wishes in mind, I do. But since you are happy with what you have, who am I to say you should believe otherwise.

      • fahd

        wow.. i was waiting for this… Zainab… for you to make an end like this… each time i see Simone reply to you… i wanted to jump in… than i paused… and waited for your reply… and upon reading your reply… i found it one step ahead… good work..

        Actually i had asked Simone to reply me on my personal ID if he/she had any questions… or wanted to have a debate but he/she felt the voice should be heard by everyone… than i asked him/her to number the questions/ points he/she had in his/ her mind… NEVER came a reply…

        you know people like these can never act and think in a straight forward way.. they are always confused… instead of coming to straight forward and to the point questions.. they try to play around… hiding behind the same arguments they themselves deny for others.

        And I tell you… he/she Inshallah would find no place to hide if he/she clearly points out the belief and questions. Its a promise of Allah…

        جاء الحق وذهق الباطل ان الباطل كان ذهوقا

      • Indeed Truth has come and falsehood has vanished, except for people like Simone. You have rightly identified her motive, which is to be heard. She thinks that she has found something with which she can cast doubt into the hearts of Muslims and assert her own beliefs. She doesn’t seem to understand why Muslims are called ‘Believers’. I wish I could say that I don’t blame her, that her problem is that she doesn’t know Islam. But I can’t, her problem transcends mere ignorance to that of lack of reasoning. I have debated before with people that can reason, and even if they do not chose to be believers, at least they do not deny what is true.

      • Waseem

        DEAR SIMONE MY CHRISTIAN BROTHER,UR COMMENTS REGARDING MUHAMMAD PBUH AND JESUS PBUH,I WANT TO GIVE U THE RIGHT DIRECTION THAT THE BIBLE IS NOT THE WORD OF GOD BUT THERE R FEW SENTENCES THOSE R REVEALED FROM GOD.THAT IS WHY THE RED LETTER BIBLE IS INTRODUCED BY THE CHRISTIAN SCHOLARS AND RED LETTERS ARE THE WORDS SAID BY JESUS ONLY.OTHER ALL WORDS ARE SAID BY THE HISTORIANS AND THE MIXTURE OF UR SCHOLARS. .ON THE OTHER HAND U OBJECTED ON THE LIFE OF THE HOLY PROPHET MUHAMMAD PBUH REGARDING MANY MARRIAGES..FOR UR KIND INFORMATION THAT ONLY AND ONLY OUR HOLY PROPHET WAS PERMITTED BY GOD TO HAVE MANY WIVES.BUT THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MORE THAN FOUR AT A TIME.AND IT IS ALSO NOT COMPULSORY FOR EVERY MUSLIM TO HAVE FOUR WIVES.IF HE DOES NOT NEED,HE WILL NOT HAVE.
        SO NOW I ASK U THIS QUESTION THAT YOU SAID THAT JESUS DIDNT HAVE SEX WITH ANY LADY IN HIS LIFE SO MY DEAR BROTHER IF YOU R A TRUE CHRISTIAN AND EVEN ALL THE CHRISTIANS IN THE WORLD LOVE WITH JESUS P B U H,THEN DONT DO SEX WITH ANY IN THE WHOLE LIFE.BUT THE TRUTH IS THIS THAT NOW IN THE WORLD MOSTLY CHRISTIAN R INVOLVED IN SEX FREELY,I MEAN WITHOUT MARRIAGE.MOSTLY CHRISTIANS DONT KNOW THE NAME OF THEIR FATHER.SO DONT THINK THAT THE CHRISTIAN ARE PERMITTED TO DO WHATEVER THEY LIKE EVEN THEIR ACTIONS R FULL OF SIN,U WILL BE ASKED ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT,ANT THIS IS NOT THE RULE OF GOD THAT ON BEHALF OF THE SINNER ANY OTHER PERSON WILL BE PUNISHED. .UR SCHOLARS HAVE GIVEN U THIS THOUGHT.SO MY DEAR BROTHER U HAVE TIME BEFORE UR DEATH TO SEARCH THE TRUTH AND ADOPT IT.PLEASE FINDOUT THE TRUTH.I WOULD PRAY FOR U THAT MAY ALLAH SW SHOW YOU THE RIGHT PATH OF THE LIFE.AAMEEN.UR BROTHER WASEEM

      • Fahd

        Simone… if you want a debate or make challenge write your questions properly and don’t confuse yourself too much…

      • Zainab

        The original Bible was NOT in Hebrew, but in the language of Jesus Christ: Aramaic. You need to know your religion better before you get onto the web to debate about theology.

      • Bai Niao

        Ahlan Zainab,
        just wanted to tell you that many Assyrian, Lebanese, Palestine, Jordanian, Israeli and Iraqi Christians still use the Aramaic New Testament, it’s called Peshitta. They also pray, sing and do lithurgy in Aramaic and the language is still alive and spoken in many parts of the Near East and in diaspora communities around the world. However, most of the Old Testament aka Tanach is in Hebrew, only the Book of Daniel is in Aramaic. It was the most spoken language of the time and Daniel grew up in the court of Nebukadnessar, apart from his Hebrew family, so I guess it was more natural for him to write in Aramaic. Hebrew, Aramaic and Arabic are all semitic languages and they are very similar to each other, most of the words share the same root consonants and are only pronounced differently when read out. It’s a bit like the difference between written Arabic and the many spoken dialects; an Iraqi person will read a text written in MSA totally different than a Moroccan, but the content is unchanged.
        It’s the same with the Bible. Much of the Gospel is dialogues and debates over Torah and other scripture, and Jesus repeatedly quotes from Hebrew writings, in Hebrew, while speaking in Aramaic. The difference of the languages is so small and most of the time his audience is familiar with the scripture so the conversation can run fluently, just like modern Arabs today quote classical poetry or al’Quran, or in modern Yeshivas the students jump between classical and modern Hebrew, Aramaic and Arabic, without content being distorted in translation.
        In fact, if you are able to read the Quran in its original language, then you can also read the Bible in its original form; Hebrew and Aramaic are so similar that the Arabic translation is almost word-to-word perfectly parallell. “The Lord thy G-d the Lord is One” in Hebrew is “Adonai Elohim Adonai Ehad” and in Arabic “al-Rabbu Ilhunaa al-Rabbuu Waahid” where the only difference really is that the word for “Lord” is the semitic word for “great, big” in the Arabic translation. No distortion whatsoever.
        Also, Jesus did not give any new commandments that we cannot find in earlier scripture already. His teaching that we should first love God with all our heart, mind and strenght, and love our fellow human beings like we love our own soul, was already written in the Torah. The demand to make all peoples on Earth servants of the One true Creator can also be found in Scripture, though it was, and is, largely neglected in Judaism. The revolutionionary difference between “Jesuism” and Orthodox Judaism was that by whole-heartedly following the double-commandment to love, we will fullfill all the other 611 mitzvas. If we honestly love God, and love everyone He has created, then we will only strive to do good deeds towards the whole creation.

        About misyar and polygamy: Creation itself testifies that one man + one woman = perfect marriage. That is because there are 51% baby boys and 49% girls born, but out of various health and behavioural reasons, in the adult population of marriageable age the numbers are equally 50/50 male and female. As God spoke in Genesis, it is not good for man to be alone, and if the rich guys each take multiple wives, many men will be left out single! That is not good for society’s stability, or for the economy, these left-over men will be unhappy and there will be inclination for many sins. A man who has a wife will work hard for the benefit of his family and the whole society, he will have her as a lifetime partner and friend, not just a plaything to put aside when he grows tired of her. Likewise she will be whole-heartedly commited to him and feel secure and be able to flourish in every way. Growing old together with your one true love is a great achievement that I wish we all will be blessed with. Both misyar and polygamy denies the order of nature, an honest, committed one-on-one loving relationship between husband and wife, which is the image of the divine love from which all life begins, all the way through generations, to creation. May we all find ourselves in happy marriages and stay faithful in our commitment and servitude to our spouses, amiin! <3

      • Dear Bai,
        It is NOT Biblical Aramaic.
        As for the rest of what you have wrote, I do not have the time to read it or respond.

      • Simone

        Dear Zainab,
        What a surprise to see another email on our thread – a reminder to me! My apolologies for the long delay in responding. I’m sorry for giving you the impression that I wouldn’t. You seem to want to end our discussion and I’m happy to do that as well, but then you make new accusations that invite a response.

        From what I remember of your last post, you claimed that the only Muslims who become Christians are those who want to live a life of sin and yet still have the assurance of going to Heaven. I can see where you might think this, that is, if being a Christian is just a matter of saying some sort of Christian shahadda and then going on as if nothing happened. But the Bible is clear that this is not the case. Being a true follower of Jesus, and therefore of God, means that the Holy Spirit has come to you, opened your heart and eyes to the truth of God in the Bible, to his love, to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus as our sacrifice, our peace with God. It means God has given you a desire to know him (which is primarily fulfilled by learning the Bible), to follow him and obey him, out of love and the knowledge that his ways are best. That he is a good and loving Father and he is our greatest joy. But if someone professes with their mouths, yet keeps on sinning with no regret or thought of God, then obviously, he doesn’t have this faith.

        This doesn’t mean, though, that a person suddenly stops being a sinner. God takes each of us where we are and then changes us, sometimes quickly in some areas, in other ways, bit by bit. But there will be some evidence of change. God tells us that there will be wolves among the sheep; that is Christian claiming, church-going non believers. Some will leave eventually, showing that they were really never among us. And some true believers will fall into times of sin, but then God will bring them back. It’s hard for you and me to look at someone and say for sure where they are, so we try to give mercy and grace to all.

        I know many believers who used to be Muslims. Some of them were Muslim by culture only and others were devout, practicing Muslims. For the most part, they are faithful people who love God and love others, although imperfectly. Nearly all of them have been cursed for their faith by their Muslim families. Some have been physically attacked and threatened with death. Yet all of them have responded with blessing and gentleness. Glory be to God!

        I’m sure in the West and maybe in more liberal Muslim countries, you can find a false convert, someone wanting to free themselves of all the rules of Islam, claim Heaven and live as they please. But in all Muslim countries, those who leave Islam are usually persecuted greatly, even killed. Why would someone there who didn’t truly believe the Christian religion say that they did knowing that it will result in persecution? People will sometimes suffer for what they think is true, but people don’t willingly suffer for something they think is false.

        Blessings to you and your family, Zainab.

  65. Moazabra

    Assalamualaikum,
    i really want to know in personal the women that need a man to talk, a man become her friend, her lover and become her husband. We have to know each other and look and take time whether we are suitable or not. If everyting ok we can go to the other step.

  66. Olola Dasco

    God in his wisdom gave us holy laws and conditions to guide mankind, but unfortunately we mankind out of our selfish and lustful desires have been looking and devices ways of circumvent God’s law. Weather permitted by mankind or otherwise, is it permitted by God? Shame on mankind

  67. I’m glad Saudi Woman laid out baldly some of the reasons why misyar marriages exist within the Muslim believers.

    Actually if any relationship is “secret” / woman has less rights in the eyes of society, it’s just wrong. Sorry. Don’t convince me otherwise why would China banned polygamy, bigamy. Thank God. Now it’s left with the history of courtesans in its artwork, literature. Not much different folks, those women were for the pleasure of men when first wife (or 2nd wife) wasn’t satisfactory. There’s centuries of literature on jealousies, intrigue, marital discord when there are multiple women in a guy’s life.

    I would agree with Simone, people who aren’t married/married and have another person outside of their marriage, don’t pretend it’s sanctioned by God at all in North America.

    • Zainab

      Jean, for your information China currently has “Second Wives” and “Packaged Wives”, both are forms of high class prostitution to supplement the ban on polygamy. You people do not actually believe that you can enforce monogamy on men. At least Germany was practical enough to legalize prostitution when it banned polygamy. So tell me, who gets more respect, courtesans or prostitutes?
      Men sit and converse respectfully with courtesans, provide them appropriate housing and maintain them financially. But with prostitutes it is nothing but a vulgar act hurridly done to satisfy the most animalistic of urges.
      You may dislike polygamy, but there is no denying that it is the most honourable of the 3 alternatives, since monogamy is unnatural to man and you only find a very insignificant percentage of men that are actually happy living a life of monogamy with no secret cravings or fantasies about other women.

      • You think secret cravings for other women justifies polygamy? What if a woman craves other men? In fact, that happens very often and polyandry was practiced in societies before Islam. It seems natural for women to want to wear sexy showy clothes, wear makeup, and show off to men; yet Islam requires utter modesty. It seems natural that people get angry when they don’t get their way, wanting to yell and insult, yet Islam forbids this and requires restraint and patience. It’s natural that some people desire homosexual relationships, but Islam forbids this.
        A doctrine of morality isn’t there to justify acts according to mere nature. It is there to be a code between right and wrong, to set parameters from cultural behavior.
        It’s really funny how the religious think they can justify things like polygamy, concubinage, misyar by claiming really polar alternatives. Please, get real. That only a few men are satisfied with one woman is a ridiculous claim, unless you think utmost sexual activity at the expense of moral satisfaction is what you mean. Sexual “satisfaction” is no excuse, just like it’s not excuse for a person to adulterate just because he’s not married.

      • Charmedshiva,
        Maybe to you it is natural to want to wear sexy clothes and show off your nakedness to other people, but do not speak for all women in general. There are ‘natural tendencies’ and then there are ‘deviant tendencies’. Even the great atheist Darwin agrees that monogamy is a myth and that man is by nature polygamous. Most psychologists will tell you that when a man seeks other sexual partners it does not mean that he doesn’t love his wife, he merely has a craving that needs to be satisfied. Women, on the other hand, generally crave a single devoted partner. And that if a woman cheats on her partner it is never just about sex and has a lot to do with her feelings, whether it is a desire for revenge or to feel appreciated & loved. Now let us not talk about the few deviant exceptions like sluts, perverts, homosexuals or sociopaths that cannot control their anger. Yes, there are male prostitutes around because there are a few women who are looking for just sex. But we all know that the majority of prostitutes in the world are women because the demand for their services is exceedingly great, especially in places where polygamy is not practiced. There is a common saying that prostitution is the oldest trade in the world, does that not tell you that having ‘extras’ is a natural desire in men.

      • charmedshiva

        I find your reply utterly biased, not to mention the fact that it only partly attempts to actually address the concepts and objections I raised.
        What secular minds do is observe human behavior as evolving. They don’t need to justify it by via doctrine. Old and even current practices of polygamy are no more natural than the polyandry of the ancients or the prostitution of today. Much of what you consider natural is relevant to your cultural upbringing and psychological impression. It isn’t always universal.
        The way people of Islam try to stereotype the sexual lives of the non-religious is hideously scheming and blind.
        Differentiating between natural and deviant behavior only works from a subjective standpoint. It is perfectly natural for women to beautify themselves and appear as such in public. Islam does not deny that, it only restricts it. You not “wanting” to do such is simply a matter of you understanding of morality, it isn’t a matter of female nature. And I never talked about nakedness. It’s intereting how you purposely misused my words and took them to extremes. It seems you’re accustomed to doing that; to just looking at matters in terms of polar extremes or binary thought.
        Homosexuality is a natural phenomenon. Islam restricts it. It’s not automatically justifiable to say that because X is a natural tendency, then X is appropriate or moral. Perhaps it’s also a natural tendency for an unmarried man to fornicate or a man married to 4 to adulterate. It’s possible. That doesn’t make his action valid.
        It’s interesting that people try to justify multiple spouses, limiting a number 4, yet allowing unlimited sex slaves, conveniently called concubines as if that makes anything better, and somehow present that as more logically justifiable and more moral than other often more modest and less sexually extravagant ways. It’s intellectually dishonest. I find your responses, as well as those by many other religious folk and their apologist leaders, to be just as or even more biased and stereotypical. Get real.
        And get real about misyar too. You can try to sugarcoat matters all you like, but know that it’s intellectually dishonest.

      • fahd

        Dear Charmed Shiva…
        your reply was really interesting… but believe me… every where… there is a binary thought… if there is no binary thought… you brain cannot work… and most of the time I face confused persons they have this problem. Brain can only work in binary terms.. the thought process is always binary… there is no intermediary… every thing is either yes or no… one or zero…. so if anybody claims his thoughts are not binary… in other terms he means… his brain is not working properly and on some matters.. is not been able to switch to a particular decision… Sorry about that.. but its the phenomenon .. and you have to live with it…

        but there is one solution to this….you can start binary thinking by making some yes/ no decisions in your life and abstain from remaining indifferent or confused… when your brain would start working on this plan, automatically and gradually, you will feel the difference in your life… you will feel you are making some decisions… your brains decision making capability would improve to a greater extent…

        Next point… regarding your approach on make – female emotions and thought process and polygamy and monogamy and why men can desire more wives… why not women can have like this…

        Again this is merely your perception… and you are be-fooling yourself by not accepting the truth. I would suggest you do one survey… go from street to street and ask from every women if she wants more than one husband or partner…. if so… for what reason….

        On a similar pattern… do ask the same question from men…

        this survey … done on different places .. religions…. regions… would give you a simple conclusion that … yes… under all the normal circumstances and only normal men want to have more than one partner…

        and only normal women under normal circumstances would not like to have more than one partner.

        well.. there is a simple solution to this long and painstaking survey… why don’t you tell us the percentage of male prostitutes in comparison to female prostitutes… and the reason behind this…

  68. Haroon

    Well, I am from Pakistan. If the scholars let it happen I belive the cotract of Marriage itself is legal both religiously and by law however, the purpose of this marriage is totally different and contained – if a woman agrees to such an offer she is not comitting Zina as all the conditions for a valid Marriage are served provided she’s understood the scope of this marraige. It’s what you decide and chose – yes, it’s fraud and invalid if you are missold or lied to. Please do not render it as Zina.

  69. Haroon

    Those who oppose it – I ask you two options to choose from.

    A. I make a girl friend – we have a secret relationship – we cohabitate and comitt fornication – nobody else but Allah knows it.
    B. I choose a woman – offer her to get married to me – tell select relatives of that woman and my side – register this on standard format with the government and the clergy and duly clarify the woman that she would have to give up certain rights and previleges compared to other wives. Upon her agreement and that of the court, clergy, God, relatives we live together and have relationship.

    Which one sounds better? No Bias.

    • Nia

      How about C: Choose a woman- offer to marry her-tell EVERYONE about your new wife-make her the mother of your children and live happily ever after (okay, the “happily ever after” is a stretch…but here’s hoping).

      SHEESH!
      Why are both of your options completely disrespectful to the woman in the relationship?
      Since another option is available your “unbiased” survey is anything but. You must include ALL options for it to be a fair assessment.
      That’s like saying is it better to A: be shot with arrows or B: attacked by lions.
      BOTH ARE AWFUL!

      BTW
      In the West, this misyar business would be considered keeping a mistress.
      Except, of course, no religious authority would condone it.

    • Maysoun

      you shouldn’t have a girl friend in the first place…learn your deen first and then marry

  70. Haroon

    http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/misyar-marriages-gain-popularity-among-saudis-1.238221

    Now follow the above link and read what schollar say about it. Now quit being a scholar yourself. If this thing is really valid and is implemented propelry – most of the youth in muslim countries could get rid of vices such as fornication and illegal sexual activities. ..

    …only Allah knows the best!

  71. Mu3mmar

    this blog is very interesting and helpful.. misyar is for sure not like muta … it is a normal marriage just with few agreements,,, however it can be used wrong so it looks like muta or zina or wathever.. but if a muslim uses it in the right way… i don’t see a reason to make it forbidden …
    advice to all brothers… do not put your mail and contacts here… this is a info blog not a “dating-site”
    thanks and m3 salaam

  72. Abdul Majid

    As Salam u Alikum, guys n gals, i dont know whether Misyar is right or not but for the safe side i would n’t go for it. we should be very carefull in these things as our single tiny mistake can lead us to hell. and the other (popular)way of marriage is almost the same in all religons. i.e. they annouce, they celebrate, with no intention to leave in particular time frame.
    so being fundamental, I invite saudi gal/lady to marry me like a common marrige. belive me mariage is very simple and easy if sunnah is followed.
    Read through how Fatima {R.A} got married. and there’s no doubt that she was the most valueable daughter on earth ever.

  73. Nia

    Hmmmmm….You didn’t reply at all to what Simone posted.

    You said the Bible had been changed.
    She countered with exactly why that would be impossible.
    Instead of replying with your reasons, evidence, proof, or what have you,
    you countered with the fact that she doesn’t believe in your prophet and that is the issue.
    ?????

    I thought the issue was the Bible and whether it has been changed.

  74. Haha, funny (actually, sad) how this blog post by Eman which is mildly negative of such marriages has become a place for depraved men looking for such marriages to post their ads with their cell phone numbers and email addresses! I think all posted phone numbers and emails should be subscribed to tons of junk mail/sms….

  75. Ashraf Ali

    The Qur’aan (in arabic) is the final revelation of all mighty god (Allah) and his words to humanity revealed through his last and final prophet and Messenger Muhammad peace be upon him..

    It was compiled into a book by prophet Muhammad’s companions after he our prophet passed away peace be upon him

    The qur’aan has been left unaltered for over 1400 years and was revealed to our prophet Muhammad over a period of 23 years, explaining the lawful and inlawful things which was further explained by our prophet Muhhamad peace be upon him to his companions.

    We believe the teachings of Prophet Muhammad, the prophet who could neither read nor write, are revelations of god allmight (Allah – arabic word for god allmighty)

    He himself warned (in narrations collected by his companions which are called hadeeth) about 40 great liars who will come after him each claiming to be a prophet.

    Islaam is the religion of all the prophets. It means to submit your will to allmighty god by worshipping him alone.

    It is not correct in logic for someone to die for someone’s sins.

    If I commit a crime, then it is only justice that I be help responsible for my action.

    How can person A steal an apple and person B gets punished for it?

    This is a sound proof why the story of the cross is fabricated and Allah knows best.

    The Injeel is indeed the book of god as it was revealed.

    Not these modern day versions. And besides it was a book applicable to another era and people. Now the Messsenger to be responded to is Prophet Muhammad, and the revelation in use for guidance is al-qur’aan.

  76. KKKK

    أنا لي رأي مخلص لجعل هذا يمثل في الواقع رأي أغلبية واسعة من الناس في الشرق الأوسط. وقد شهدنا التي تمارس على “زواج المسيار” أو علاقات “المتعة” في كل مكان على نطاق واسع. و، في كل علاقة تقريبا، تم العثور على رجل في امتلاك الحق في أن تصبح البادئ أو الخاطب من أجل المرأة التي يريد أن يكون على علاقة معه. كلا، بالطبع، تملك أقوى تلبية احتياجات تماما لمطالب سن البلوغ من خلال وجود علاقة جسدية.
    حان الوقت أن نعترف بحق، بالغ واحد، محترم، مستقل، امرأة الأثرياء وحرة من الناحية المالية والاكتفاء الذاتي في الاختيار أن يكون “زواج المسيار” مع الصبية التي تختارها، لتلبية الاحتياجات الشخصية من وجود العلاقة الجسدية. والحقيقة هي انها تمتلك حق يساوي أو أكبر من الرجال، للحفاظ على “علاقة زواج المسيار أو المتعة ‘مع الرجال، الذين يعتمدون عليها وتابعا لها في الحياة، وليس فقط من أجل حقوق الانخراط معه في علاقة لها لتلبية الاحتياجات المادية لها ولكن لتبحث عنه بعد وكذلك، من خلال توفير بمحبة له. “خاطب” امرأة أو ‘سيد’ في علاقة زواج المسيار أو المتعة هي بالتأكيد أكثر عرضة للحفاظ على ذكر لها في الحب والمودة والرحمة وأكثر عرضة للوفاء بصدق احتياجاته كثيرة في الحياة التي لا بد له من الاعتماد لها، أكثر من الرجال . مرة أخرى، ويقال إن المرأة البالغة أن لديهم حاجة متفوقة المادية للعلاقة مقارنة مع رجل بالغ. ويمكن ملاحظة أن المرأة هي أكبر مانح للمحبة، والمحبة والتعاطف وأكبر مزود (إذا كان لديها من موارد) من الرجال. حتى الآن، العديد من مهندم، الأثرياء، والمهنية تعليما، جميلة، وناجحة، والمرأة المستقلة (واحدة أو أرملة أو seperated) الذين هم في مقتبل العمر، ويضطر إلى أن يكون alone.It أمر لا مفر منه فقط أن يؤدي ذلك إلى تغيير و فإن الخاطب امرأة أو سيد لها على أكمل وجه الحق في اقتراح واتخاذ صبي في علاقة زواج المسيار، بزيارته، والبقاء معه بالضرورة، وتوفير الرعاية والدعم له في الحياة، تماما مثل الرجال العمل في علاقة مماثلة، في مقابل عن موافقته وعلى شرفه كامل من احتياجاتها من زيارته لعلاقة جسدية.
    وهذا هو التوازن بين ما هو الآن خللا والممارسة غير عادلة، وتميل لصالح الرجال، الذين نسبيا، هم أقل عرضة للقدرات المرأة الكامنة في اعطاء مزيد من المودة والحب والدعم والرعاية في العلاقة. أنعم الله على الذكور الذين يكافحون من أجل كسب لقمة العيش، وهكذا، يكافحون من أجل العثور على رفيقة، من خلال منح ورعاية النساء الذين هم على استعداد لاستقبالهم في علاقة زواج المسيار أو المتعة والاعتناء بهم. في المملكة العربية السعودية، ويقال إن النساء البالغات أكثر من مليوني شخص ليكون من دون زملائه. يجب أن عددا لا بأس به منهم من الحائزين على تعليم جيد، ما يكفي من الموارد وحياة كريمة، ورغبة منها أن يكون لها علاقة من اختيارهم. قد يكون هناك العديد من الذكور الذين هم في حاجة الفعلية لمساعدتهم، وتكوين الجمعيات، والحب والرعاية والدعم والعلاقة. حتى الآن، وأنهم يعانون بسبب المشاكل المختلفة التي فرضت ظلما عليها. وحقوق المرأة، ويجب أن تستقر مع مرور الوقت، قد يكون لدينا علاقات زواج المسيار أو في المجالات الأخرى للحياة. انه أمر لا مفر منه ويجب أن يأتي قريبا. كاتب هذا المقال هو الذكر الذي يمثل رأي عدد كبير من الرجال والنساء الذين يقفون في صالح كامل من قبول حقوق المرأة متفوقة على اختيار لممارسة زواج المسيار أو المتعة علاقات للارتياح بلدها. كل امرأة ورجل كل من يرغب في الكتابة لي لصالح جهات نظري أو غير ذلك، قد تفعل ذلك من دون شك إلى هذا العنوان – balancetheimbalance@gmail.com. تقديم تفاصيل عن المرسل، حتى أستطيع أن أكتب مرة أخرى.

  77. Maysoun

    it saddens me to see that its always the widowed or divorced woman the society wants to get rid of quietly and that by depriving them of their rights of proper housing food and offspring…it loks to me like to have to feel ashamed to be a widow or a divorcee..some comments are sexist like ‘i want o have Miyar marriage with widow under 40..now this is sick…if you want to do a good deed marry woman older ages the proper way , and not making thru a Miyar marriage only the body halal…it wonders me that a lot of Pakistani men are intressted but iam not suprised because in pakistan women have no right at alland its in pakistan where the Shariah gets tossed and turned to the induviduells liking….authu’billahi … i hope i will never face to make a decision on a marriage like that….where can it be right to take the rights of woman given from Allah suhana wa ta ala…shame on you me…who support that

  78. A Ahmed

    Misyar is completely unislamic. The only concept of marriage in Islam is “Nikhah”.

  79. Ihsan

    what i understand we r making the marriages difficult for as by promoting non-Islamic traditions and ppl moves and like such kind of marriages. misyar marriage meets the requirements of nikah according to Islam if your wife puts off her rights to his husband than he is not on wrong but promoting this
    thing is not good because Islam also teaches us the humanity and it exploits women whom she always need not for only sex not only also bring the man on its lowest level. so i am not in the favor of it . Islam is complete religion so no one can interpret Islam with his on views wither this is good and that is bad Allah for give us all….
    in Islam only one marriage without time limit (endless Nikaah) is defied now its totally up to Muslims on what condition they make that marriage b/w them that is allowed to both to claim or put-off there rights. so i relquest to all we r not the Scholar’s of Islam they nows batter than us we have to fallow them there mast be some reasons they allows you to do this. I never heard such kind of marriage in Pakistan before i came to Saudi Arabia. There from last few years prostitution increases and ppl are movies toward zina in very large scale.
    the thing we need to make marriage Simple and easy in our society

    Thanks

  80. Ihsan

    Maysoun i agree you y ppl of Pakistan like this marriage because mostly ppl are stick with there society there family traditions which makes the marriages difficult for them they can afford so that they tries to find the way to rid of this satiation by commuting such kind off marriages unfortunately
    ….

  81. I hate the way people are handling this issue. Some already started to make ” FATWA”on their own without even having the merest idea what are the differences between Misyar, regular and Traditional marriage. Thus, i suggest that before anyone makes unsubstantiated claims, go and read about Misyar, and why was it permitted and implemented in if not all in all, in most of the Muslim countries. I’M a huge advocate of MIsyar
    1- It prevents “Zinna” Adultery
    2- it assigns men for the widows, who need a man
    and the list of its merits are endless. Finally, As our prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, ” Actions are to be taken by intentions”

  82. MUDASSAR

    if misyar is introduced after 1400 years of origin of islam by modifying mutta,just like traditional marriage has been improved with registation and 6 sentences,and witnesses,then why u replaced the quraanic word of muta with misyaar.leaders of holy progeny of prophet were true imaams and world wiill realize INSHAALLAH

  83. khuram

    misyar is welcome, actually it is not new thing.it is mutta in other words and it was allowed by holy prophet definitely with the will of Allah Subhan o Ta’ala

    • waseem

      dear khurram,i m sorry to say that u didnt read about misyar in detail.pls know about it well and then say that is it mutta or intierly different from the concept of mutta.please dont spread the disinformation among ur muslim brothers and sisters.jazakallah.ur brother ……waseem

  84. Dennise

    Hi,

    Though I m not in the position that if this is a women perspective or men perspective forum. I would like to hear some good and bed stories of men and women who committed misyar mariage. My position is actually how human is effected from this commit and as well as society if there is enough clue to sustain this view.

    If you asist my understanding of misyar I appreciate.

    Dennise

  85. Noshin

    Hi, I’m a student and I’m writing my dissertation on this topic. Comparing it with Muta marriage in Iran. I was wondering if you could suggest me some books or academic journals on misyar marriages in Saudi Arabia?

    Looking forward to hear from you.

    • Ejaz

      Hi Nosheen,

      i hope you are fine. i would like to suggest you to read articles available on internet, besides that if you want to buy a book, i am mentioning the name of the book and its author for your convenience.Jawaz Nikah Muta’h Aur Sahaba written by ghulam hussain najafi. i hope you would find this book useful.if you have any questions or need any help you can write me at ejazahmed2013@yahoo.com

      Thanks
      Ejaz

  86. shobha

    AOA,
    Dear readers,
    An important thing that u need to know is there were certain things that were allowed earlier and have no more viability.e.g.having slaves; who were completely at the dispense of their masters who owned them. but this isn’t practiced anymore.there are rules and laws in every country which forbid it. so the practice is no more.
    just like that misyaar marriage as narrated has a history of its own. once when people travelled to far away lands for any purpose. it was hard to go back home every now and then.so in order to avoid any misconduct on their behalf this was a safe way to confine them. as it is a natural physical urge, specially for men, which no body can deny, so inorder to keep urself at bay, this was just a way out for THOSE WHO FULFILL THE CONDITIONS.and obviously with the consent from the woman that the man is not going to be with her forever (although he might do)as he has to return to his homeland.and she knows the conditions that what exactly she is getting herself into and is ready and open for the consequences.
    But remember the conditions . . . . e.g. marrying someone without fulfilling the requirements isn’t possible, so in the same way a man who has no hope of getting back home soon and is not sure if he can keep himself safe might be the only eligible candidate for this kind of marriage. and u all know that only poor laborers from third world fall in that category not the doctors and executives advertising here. its something invalid nowadays.since the means of transportation are many. for those who cant afford . . . cant afford such a marriage as well.
    still some people might make their case by stating that they don’t get to see their wives but may be after a year or so. but still keeping this mariage a secret is not right.
    For a marriage announcement is one of the musts. a man has to let everyone know that this woman is my wife, under my protection. if this isn’t so, its not right. its not ethical. u r hiding it from others means somethoing wrong is going on.
    And the last but not the least, what matters most of all is your “INTENTION”. If your intentions are pure;that u r opting for such a thing because there is no other way, may be, only may be(i’m sure most of us will disapprove it) then its fine. but if the thought underlying is to escape the responsibilities, have fun, no commitment then obviously it is wrong and HARAAM in the first place. for instance take the example of haram food. u can eat it if u don’t have halaal things available for eating, but even then only as much as is necessary to saty alive. if u consume it with the intrention of eating it not for ur surival, then obviously its haraam.
    Makes sense, doesn’t it?

  87. Nat

    Interesting! U could sugarcoat it any way u want, but the sole reason for this kind of marriage is simply sex.

  88. j s

    It is better the having game of boyfriend and girlfriend , we like those words because we are impressed by west, that are acceptable.rrige( tempr
    But the kind of marrige with recite of holy words not acceptable. Come on.

  89. This is the ultimate insult to women.

  90. imran pathan

    but i need same great women for mareig

  91. BAHAR

    i cant believe what i am reading here.
    this is an insult – me as a woman would never go for something like that.

  92. umar

    Where on earth are these types of marriages allowed in the Quraan and the Sunnah. Can someone provide some proof and evidence for this nonsense taking place in this so called land of Islam and Sharia? A life of a Muslim should be like an open book, and not shrouded in secrets and mysteries like that of a psychopath.

  93. Zainab
    You are barking on the wrong tree, it is a women’s right that I am referring to and sorry muslim nations don’t acknowledge women’s right to self determination. It is an issue of human rights and abusing women under the guise of religion, simple and clear. Frankly as far as I am concerned perhaps they should start importing vibrators for these women to avoid degrading themselves more and be under the mercy of a scum bag who wants to take advantage of them use them and throw them later like trash. After all they will avoid disease from a contaminated man, and in accordance with religion have not committed a sin! I think that would be a better option without headache and complication.
    Peace

    • Zainab

      Lina,
      I’m with you on the issue of human rights. But i was referring to your attack on Pakistanis and calling them filthy and what not. Before you crucify the Pakistanis over their women’s rights record, remember that they were among first to have a female Prime Minister even before some countries in the so called civilized world (e.g. US) ever did or will ever do. And before you talk about women’s right in Islam try and find out what Islam says about the rights of women. You cannot blame Islam for what some of it’s ‘adherents’ decide to do, just like you can’t blame Christianity for the un-Godly things some ‘Christians’ do (just to give an example).

  94. Zainab

    I’m with you too and my apologies if I came across a bit off and I am very aware that Pakistani women are incredible women and if not for heir competent and courage they wouldn’t have a Woman Prime Minister, or an incredible girl such as Malala and her family to exist.
    My issue is with the misogyny which is ingrained and weaved within the Islamic community and among the men and the clergies. I studied Islam since I was a kid as a matter of fact I had a certificate of Khatm al Qur’an at the age of 10 along with studying tajweed, hadith, islah alhadith and so on.

    I’ve read enough and heard all the justification for the 1 man = 2 female witnesses, the inheritance issue, the beating of your wife verse, the hijab and so on. It was justifiable for that time perhaps.

    When men and women have to work they both support the family they both have a very important roll to educate their children and they both are entitled to the custody of the child. But when you create a society that does not accept women as your equal and your parter in life then you will definitely have an ill society with lot of psychological problems and abuse.

    There was a hadith that I encountered once as a young girl at school and I thought if there were so many fake hadith they got rid of why not this one too?

    Accordingly it stated something like this in Arabic
    lauw kuntu amiran la amartu almar’a and tasjuda lezoujiha!

    I donl’t have the exact reference for it right now and could look for it, but suffice to say, I was young at the age 14 in my religion class, I stood up in the class and questioned the authenticity of such statement, and said how could the prophet say such thing when soujoud is part of prayer and prayer is meant for God alone and not a man! The whole class started laughing all girls, and of course I was silenced by the religion teacher and was told: we are not here to discuss things we are here to learn!

    Learn, learn what brain washing women and telling them they cannot think for themselves and that they are lacking in righteousness and mind. Misogyny reeks out of all religions not only Islam.

    I am afraid they need to start amending these outdated laws and stop imposing the dark ages and enlighten people that once upon a time in the History of Islam there was such thing called Ijtihad! It was an open door to amend and adjust the laws to the needs of the time!

    May Love, Light, peace and justice conquer the world for we all need that
    Christian, Muslim, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhist and many other religion we know of or we may have not heard of!
    With all due respect and Peace

    • altaf

      I completely agree with your viewpoint. These so-called scholars and mullahs have completely ripped off the purity of deen. I just despise them. Interesting hadith you posted about woman making sujood to man. Actually there a lot of “questionable” hadiths which are attributed to the Prophet. Actually I too have question about the ayah wherein it says “whatever your right hands possess.” For the life in me, I can’t figure out what it means, seems like a free license for having as much as women you want and the matter of fact is that the previous Muslim rulers have fully utilized this ayah in its entirety by keeping “harems.”
      I have read through the comments of Zainab over here but couldn’t find anything substantial on this topic from her.

  95. khalid

    Lina,

    Its always always good to see our generation, specially women, taking interest in Islamic education and learning. Although I just wanted to make one point here in response to your message and my intention is just “constructive criticism”. If i would be you I will be asking myself that after taking introductory/crash courses in a subject with a history of more than 1400 years with 1000s of 1000s of “professionals” alive today , is it really wise for me to criticize fatwas/teachings/rulings of scholarly people who studied this subject for much much longer time than me ? Well I think I would rather go pursue some more knowledge at least will do Phd/equivalent studies in that subject before making such statements.

    So if i say that I have done a course various courses in nursing from a world renowned university and I think XYZ brain surgery procedure is orthadox and should not be used ? … i think that wont be wise for me.

    Islamic Fiqah is a very complex and versatile subject and requires understanding/experience in a lot of discipline.

    So when i fell ill i went to doctor listen to him and act on his prescription because i know he is a subject matter expert and i m not. By applying same rule i should also listen to muftis and their fatawaas because they are the subject matter expert in that field of study. Otherwise If i am so inclined towards changing the system then I should invest my time and money and get all the knowledge and position required before criticizing them.

    Although what happened to you in that school is a weakness of a teaching skill in that teacher of yours. A curious question from a student should always be replied in satisfactory manner. But this was that teacher’s weakness not a weakness in Islam or its sharia.

    • Anonymous Blue

      You can’t explain the hadith Lina mentioned without maintaining the notion that women and men are unequal and women are dependants and lesser in hierarcy than men. That is actually more or less consensus among muslim scholars.
      It baffles me that people blame the teacher when it is actually the teachings themselves that are problematic.

  96. Shaheer

    Dear Zainab , you are doing a great job, may Allah bless you.

  97. Elia

    So, why we call Mut’ah Marriage haram? While these two( Mut’ah and Mysiar) seems to be the same. And Mut’ah has some base in Islam while this Mysiar has no base.

    • Abdul Quddus

      Dear Elia,
      Mutah and Misyar are two different things and we cannot place them equal.I have given the detail of Mutah below.It is wrong to call it Haram because anything which happened in the time of our Prophet PBUH cannot be declare wrong by anyone on any grounds.It is a common saying that due to fighting in far areas soldiers had to stay for longer durations so it was permissible at Prophet’s time.It is not logical because after Prophet the frontiers spread a lot and distances were enhanced so how can it be forbidden then?
      Regards

  98. Sohail

    hi I am 35 years old Pakistani in saudia i want to masyar with actual widow pl. contact via email sohailaftab78@yahoo.com ( I am MBA from England and working in a large group of Saudia) Rgd.

    • Abdul Quddus

      Dear Sohail,
      You seems to be well educated and holding a good post you should get a normal marriage and live a peaceful life.You can get a widow in your own country.
      Regards

      • Sohail

        Dear A. Quddus,
        Nice to heard your comments but, question is that what is wrong If the MSYAR is halal and I would to do here in KSA. Please define Sharia boundaries in regarding to Masyar. (specially in current living country not parent)

      • Abdul Quddus

        Dear Sohail,
        It is important to know that how Misyar Marriages are Hallal and who has the authority to declare them hallal.Our religion was completed in all aspects 1400 years ago and it was till the last day and no one can amend it as per his liking.Why don’t we amend our customs and traditions and make marriage a simple issue.
        If you are still desperate to marry a widow on temporary basis go for Muttah which has a legal value and a hallal thing provided you fulfill it’s pre-requisites.
        Regards
        A.Quddus

  99. N

    Is there an Idhaa clause if a woman gets divorced or if he is dead. Since the marriage is not announced why should she be doing Idhaa. I seriously find it as a license to have legal sex. Just cannot accept the fact that these so called religious man can come out with these kind of laws.

  100. Abdul Quddus

    Dear Friends,
    I want to share my little knowledge on the subject.Once the Prophet PBUH already left the option of Mutta why to introduce a new thing for which we are not sure is Hallal or Haram.What is Mutta?It is also a marriage contract between man and woman like the normal Nikkah with the exception of mentioning its duration which is not less than one year and maximum it goes to any limit..It is not hidden and to be officially told to everyone.It is only permissible with a widow or divorcee.It can be converted to permanent if both agree.
    I do not understand once this option is available why we are creating new things and remain confused about its legal values.The laws are made 1400 years ago and they are to be implemented till the day of Judgement.No amendments and no justifications are allowed.
    Abdul Quddus

    • masood

      Mutaah is an other form of fornication. Conditions u have mentioned are not all true. Mutaa is also haram like Misyar. all those supporting Disgusting and Shameful relation named misyar and Mutaah marriage i ask them only 1 question. Would u like it for your sister and daughter??? if not how can u like and support this shame. Marriage is marriage. iF u add any prefix or suffix to it to translate any filth in the name of a sacred relation it is no more a marriage whatso ever. If all Shia / Sunni Ulema support it even then we will ask them to provide a reference from Quran and Sunnah. If they can not provide a proof from Quraan and Sunnah then its Haraam Haraam and only haraam

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  102. These are all old practicing of before islam. The challangers to islam as independent prophets like ‘Mosaylma’ Hinda & ‘Maviya’ who surrendred later to prophet the great,brought the same Misyar with legal affliation a gate to get release from islam. These are the people who have become mejority in this freedom of affence. Islam is no more on earth exept Dupe1,& Dupe2 mishonery. Hence nothing to say here. Even today islam depends on the Marshal law of rationalism. With the blessings of God. Rest in peace.

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  104. Ahmed

    Looking for zawaj misyar. Honest and good woman.

  105. A marriage contracted for lust is NO marriage so is written in the HOLY QURAN.

  106. Abdullah

    Mutt’a is definitely haram as Hadith sharif () ka mafhoom hai: Ummat ki aksariyyat ki pairwi karo q k meri ummat ki aksarriyyat kisi ghalat baat par jama nai hogi. So 99% of the scholars and sufis have declined it.
    Don’t know about masyar, Allah knows best.

    • Abdul Quddus

      This Hadith has nothing to do with Mutta.You talk about Aksarriat I say that the entire Muslim ummah cannot take a decision over the decision of the Prophet.It can get united on a issue where there is no decision found but where something is decided by the Prophet NO ONE can change it.No matter how big scholar he is.Islam is what ever told by the Prophet and not by the scholars who have created so many Firqas just because of their judgement and their understanding of Quran.
      Regards

  107. Abu Mujahid

    Salam alaekum, am ready to marry a saudi divorcee in a misriyyah marriage , If ready join me , am here leaving in Saud arabia as a student. Facebook Prince Adetunji

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  112. Sarah Alayban

    لا زواج المسيار

  113. shabbir shah

    if nikah-e-misyar is allowed by islam then why should any one oppose it it is ok we muslim agreewith it

    • Abdul Quddus

      Dear Shabbir
      Please do not use we agree with it because in Islam everyone is responsible for himself not for the entire muslim community.If it was allowed in Islam why muslims are opposing it?Islam is what our Prophet told us and it is final till the day of judgement. We are no one to mould it according to our wishes.
      Regards.

  114. Sufi

    I m not agree with misyar b/s In Islam 1 man can marry with 4 woman.
    Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w) said: “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce(And in Misyar Divorce Is Normal).And why Misyar woman not maintenance her Iddat period?

  115. I need women for misyar in jeddah or makkah kia

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  118. MISYAR is better way to stop the bad relation which cause to lead many people to commit mistake and at last the society and Islamic. rules punish them and createis more problem for both men and women I will say MISYAR is best to avoid sin in your society

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  120. Abdul-Yekin

    Asalam alaykum dear brothers and sisters.
    I initially don’t want to contribute to this discussion, but i’m oblige to because I see that there is al lot of misconception and misunderstanding about this misyar marriage.

    First and foremost, I would like you to know that, there is a difference between what is religiously acceptable & what is socially acceptable. What is religiously acceptable might not be socially acceptable and vice-vasa.

    secondly, please dear sisters & brothers, if we want to judge any rulings, let judge with the fear of Allah as He has commaded us to. Because I noticed that those that are against misyar were against it because it is socially not accepatable to them. Please, once more, lets put the fear of Allah forward in whatever we are doing, don’t let an hatred of one thing make us avoid justice, which can lead us to deny the truth. Lets be careful.

    Furthermore, some brothers and/or sisters acused the scholars who permitted misyar that they twisted the ruling to sooth their desire (I think?). subhanallah, how can they? You see, Allah has put elasticity in Islam, the more you try to deform it, the faster it regain back it,s shape, and these scholars are aware of that, so they dare not try to twist any islamic rulings.

    Now, let’s go to the main point. What is Misyar in the first place? Misyar is just a kind of marriage contract inwhich the woman relinquishes some of her rights, that’s all, simple as that. For a wife to relinquishe some of her rights isn’t acceptable in Islam? Surely it is. That is what Sawda bint Zam’a (ra)h did ,the wife of the Prophet (saw) at the time when she grew old and the Massenger of Allah (saw) wanted to divorce. She negotiated with him that he retained her while she gave her night to Aisha (ra) and he accepted and retained her upon this agreement (see tafseer Ibn Katheer [2/406, edition]). So, why are some people callng it unislamic practice?

    I believe that, there is a wisdom in whatever Allah decree. Because whatever He decrees is for the benefit of man and He has not send down this deen inorder to cause us distress rather as a mercy. If what Allah decrees causes problem in our lives or in the society, then we should examine ourselves, are we practicing it the way it was prescribe by Allah & His Messanger? Then if not so, we have to blame ourselve, we shouldn’t blame Allah (astagfurllah), because Allah is perfect and there is perfection in whatever He decrees.
    In a nut shell, misyar is halal but those who engage in it, it is they who have abuse the system.

    So, we shouldn’t judge a practice merely by the actions of the believers rather by the Qur’an & the sunnah.

    Personally, on a more serious note, I don’t like the misyar is been advocates, the way is is being encouraged. It shouldn’t be enocurage because, it has to do with the right of women, so if misyar is being encourage for women to relinquish their right, I think this is unfair.

    • Zainab

      Dear Abdul-Yekin,
      I beg to differ with your opinion on misyar marriage. You claim that it is halal and I disagree. It is an innovation that creates loopholes for miscreants to exploit. Marriage (Nikkah) in Islam is already a contract and both parties are permitted to state their terms of contract – so far as it does not go against the fundamental pillars of marriage in Islam. So if Nikkah already gives room for contract modification, then why do we need Misyar? In a Nikkah, a woman can agree to relinquish her rights to be provided accommodation because she already owns a house, in the same way a man can relinquish some of the rights he has over a wife (e.g. that she asks his permission to go places or that she makes herself available to him whenever he needs her) perhaps due to the nature of her job. These kind of concessions in a Nikkah contract do not negate the marriage. However, the kind of concessions made in a Misyar contract tend to violate the pillars of marriage in Islam. This might not have been the intended purpose of the scholars, but the kind of concessions made by the parties are contrary to Islam, and they include things like: the man can divorce the woman any time he likes, the woman won’t have children for the man, the man’s family shouldn’t know about his misyar wife, etc. So, by introducing another form of contract marriage into Islam and calling it ”Misyar”, the so-called scholars are responsible for whatever abuse is perpetuated by the people. Allah Azzawajal has perfected our religion and given the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) the complete manual for its administration. In this manual there is all the flexibility that we need, just the way Nikkah provides couples with sufficient flexibility without going out of the bounds of Islam (and we don’t have to change it’s name to ”Misyar marriage” just because some rights were relinquished by the parties). Furthermore, not everything that is ‘technically’ possible in Islam automatically becomes the right thing to do. It is better for a Muslim to leave something (even if it is halal) if that thing will result in the unfair treatment and hurting of a fellow human being.

  121. Ibn-E-Islam

    Prophet Salalallahu AlaihiWaSallam said :’If someone owe money in not returning it intention, he done theft and somone marriage with divorce giving intention is done zina’ If you make out ways like Qaum-UL-Sabat then wait till comes same judgement as it was for them. Last thing: Dont say Islam to the thing which you implemented, Islam is from GOD purely not even Prophet salallahu AlaihiWa sallaam has any thing in it not even his opinion. You have introduced a new religious which allow MUTA type marriage.

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  123. Khan

    I want to marriage with arabian girl.
    I am working as an Assistant professor here.
    Contact me at:mudassir.kku@gmail.com

  124. Ibn-E-Islam

    See, Islam is a religious by GOD. Even prophet dont have interference in it. So, If you want truth you have to look into the life of prophet Mohammad and his holy companions thats all. If you find there things related to believes that means Islamic practise else… someone own practise in name of ISLAM. Hope you accept the fact.

  125. Ibn-E-Islam

    Killing innocent in the name of Islam and peace is restricted by the GOD itself.Muslims are those who practise according Quran – the holy book. Not one who slaughter innocents.In war things are allowed to kill enemies whomever he might be.It is allowed by all religions.But in no-war zone places, killing a single man means killing the whole nations itself.In name of Islam one is doing crimes means he will be punished by GOD, by virtue of nature itself.Read Quran , its my suggestion to you and read history of prophet Mohammad Peace Be Upon HIm, you will find totally different Islam what is implemented in todays world. Anyway I appreciate few Islamic country affects which help peace in there community for all religions.

  126. Arif H

    We are moving in the direction where Holy Quran has described the practice
    of Jewish scholars who have kept their nation in dark by changing the meaning of their book to their advanage.Misyar was not practiced ever in Islam if,it was so than why Quran has so much emhasised on NIKAH?

    • islam many places did such permission and practices in deferent ocaison

      • Arif H

        Wsh to understand your comments! In discussion on a serious matter,arguments should be logical.

      • ok I am totally in faiver of misyar marriege it’s have many advantages

      • Arif H

        Could you narrate some examples to substaniate your argument? Among
        ourselves a tendency has developed to give opinions referring to Islam
        without knowing even the basics of Islam..Allah has shown his dislike
        against adultery & infidelity happens to be one of them.Now decide whether
        lust for sex is not infidelity?

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  128. Naeem Ashraf

    How i can find misyar wife??

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  131. Arif H

    We are deviating from the teaching of Holy Quran & Ahadees.Most of us are
    taking the attitude of Munafiquns & are stamping the pactices true which have crept in against the spirit of religion that is most logical.Is there any Hadees or Ayah in Holy Quran indicating about Misyar being Halal.
    Current situation prevailing in Muslim world is itself indictaive of our non -adherence to Allah’s rules to be followed by Muslim Umah.
    We Muslims are damaging Islam more than non-Muslims.Hope we learn
    from our mistakes & gain Allah (SWT)’s approval as true followers of Holy
    Prophet (Peace be on Him).
    Arif Hussain
    USA

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  134. Salaam wa alaikum,

    I am a little frightened by the amount of comments you received asking for advice on how to achieve misyar marriages! I think unfortunately most of the time men take religion and twist it to serve their own desires. I know that there are probably some women who enjoy a part-time, no strings attached, childless marriage, but I’m sure the amount of women being exploited far outweighs that.

    Take care,

    Yankee

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  136. Arif Hussain

    We are going into circles.Some of us are argumentative without offering any helpful direction while many are hell bound sex maniacs whose only
    aim to participate in this blog is to know some ladies who are in favor of
    Misyar. They could not end up getting a single response inspite of their
    begging.
    If this discussion is losing track why to to indulge & waste our time?There
    are umpteen grey areas which Umah is facing.Should we not steer our
    attention to these & move with a very positive attitude to resolve these
    obstacles/hurdles in the light of Fiqh ,Ahadees last but not the least Holy
    Quran,key to our complete guidance!!

    Arif Hussain,
    Ann Arbor,USA
    05/10/2014

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  142. I thinks misyar marriege is more better than the situation now a days developing in recent society of friend ship system will avoid many mistake and sin it’s okay and people should follow it thanks

  143. Mujy saudia ki larki sy shadi krni hy.

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  145. Naveed ulhaq

    Islam condems secret marriage.why every woman wants to marry rich man.why doesnt she marry an everage person who wants to give her respect and honour.when i came to know bride’s father takes dowery(bribe) from groom in saudi arabia,I astonished.your saudi society is very different from our pakistani society.it think that misyar is equal to mutta(secret relationship just like gf/bf)

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