Divorce in Saudi Arabia

No matter how many reports you read about the rise in numbers of divorce cases in Saudi Arabia, it still remains a dirty word that Saudis are taught not to even contemplate. For my generation and those younger, there is a growing number who rebel. But for older couples it is still very true. No matter how much they hate each other, divorce is not an option. “Real” men and women never divorce. We are taught in schools that it is the most abhorred by God of all things Islamically permitted. Couples have separate bedrooms on different floors and lead chiefly separate lives and yet are still married. A man might take on a second wife and not see his first except twice a month to pay the bills and buy groceries. He does it because he thinks its manly and the woman stays on and is patient because that’s what a good woman does.

This like all other things is changing. After reading a report on this in Arab News, I thought I would write a bit about it. In Saudi Arabia there are two ways to obtain a divorce depending on who initiates it, the first is easy and can be done by the husband and the second is extremely hard and is reserved for the wife. The first can be done by the husband simply by deciding in his heart to divorce his wife and in effect this becomes valid immediately. Then in his own time he can go to the courts and obtain a document of his decision and send a copy to the ex-wife. Alimony and child custody is not a big deal either and definitely not mandated. Several women I personally know have never gotten any financial support from their ex-husbands. And in the case they are allowed child custody, its only because the father is not interested in caring for the kids. So in essence he is allowing the mother to have them. This and most other issues related to family law is only loosely based on Islam and what really goes on is the absolute vilification of the wife in court while the husband is always taken at his word. I know you might be thinking that I’m exaggerating but seriously I’m not.

When it comes to the wife initiating a divorce it is a whole different issue. It’s not even called divorce, it’s called khula which literally means taking off as in taking off clothes or jewelry. What the woman has to do is prove that the husband did something. Abuse whether physical or verbal does not get a woman far in court even with a medical report because the Saudi judges tend to believe that she probably did something to provoke it. The only proof that will absolve the woman and get her treated favorably is one of three; proof that the husband is a drug addict, has AIDS or being a daughter of a VIP. Otherwise the process is stressful, expensive and might lead to her never seeing her children again. In one case the judge and his assistants demanded from the wife that she detail her husband’s performance in bed. Another woman had to pay her dowry back in full after more than a decade of marriage and four children. Some of those years she financially supported her then husband and yet she still had to give back the money he spent on her as a young bride and give up child custody completely. To rub salt into injury, she was hushed in court while listening to the guy tell everyone there including her father and brothers how horny she was and that she wouldn’t be doing this unless she had someone else in mind to marry.

However after everything settles down, within society it is much better for a woman to obtain a khula rather than be divorced. Divorced women are usually viewed as having done something wrong but a woman who obtains a khula is a victim. It’s as if society understands that the difficulty of the process shows in some way that women do not go through with it except as a last resort after being tremendously wronged.

92 Comments

Filed under Culture, Gender Apartheid

92 responses to “Divorce in Saudi Arabia

  1. Haitham

    I used to look forward to your posts, they were a refreshing view on the Saudi Arabia I ‘ve come to know inside out after living here since I was 11 years old.

    I think recently though you have shown that you have a certain type of ‘darkness’ in you towards the country/system/’traditional’ Saudis. I do agree with you on many things, but when public comment on negative aspects has no use in provoking change, it is just hanging out dirty laundry for the world to see.

    I fail to see how the above can be productive to the Saudi society.

    • Enad sabehi

      I dont live in saudi arabia but I’m a muslim. yeah that’s right saudi people are too strict in our religion(islam) and you know because it’s the most important islamic country in the world ,it’s the central of the islam religion. so thier environment makes them strict. I live in a muslim village in israel, its Population hits 3500, only one man has two wives !! same in morocco and in other islamic countries. it’s too rare to find a man lives with two wives or three…

      • Jang Min Ah

        I know this was two years ago, but I am a Muslim, and I’ve been living in Saudi Arabia for quite sometime now, and I noticed a lot of their ways is just Arabian culture, and is actually going against Islam. Which is sad because people think it is Islam, when it’s just bad culture that, in reality has nothing to do with Islam, though they may try to claim it.

      • Fast

        ” I live in a Muslim Village in Israel” I believe you mean Palestine. I could not get any word out of ur post! what are u trying to get at?? The basics in Isalm are unarguable, Hijab, the 5 Prayers, Fasting, the list goes on,,,, are all “obligations” that you MUST do. I cannot see anything wrong with Saudi way, women are completely granted more rights than even in ur doomed, the so called, zionist Israel.
        And they practice Islam the right way. w tfoooo 3aleeky w 3ala israel :)

      • ı am educated open minded laid back confident and attractiive man with great sense of humor ı am here to find someone special for long term relationship…

    • enad sabehi

      well, you can’t change thierlife-styles , i think only the time can change !!

    • enad sabehi

      i will read this report before i get marry .. or i should convert christianity? . i will soon ..

    • enad sabehi

      well, you can’t change thierlife-styles , i think only the time can change it.

      • Saudi life and culture does not necessarily refelct Islamic principles. I am an American Muslim, born and raised. No one in my family is Muslim. No one in my family is from the Middle East. I was married briefly to an abusive man. I divorced him. He was embarrassed because I was a lady with a good reputation, active in Islamic life and was truthful about his bad behavior as a husband. I did not want to marry again, which is normal following a divorce. Within three months, a friend from college married me. That was 31 years ago. He raised my daughter as his own and we had two children together. He knows I am not his property. I know I am responsible for my own personal and spiritual growth. We have always respected one another, always asked Allah to help us with our problems. We tell our children we are together BECAUSE we are Muslim.

    • paulvassell

      I find it more refreshing that these posts are honest. The truth is what we are all seeking. Whether we like it or not, it is far better than glossing over it out of a sense of patriotism.

  2. saudiwoman

    I agree to some extent but I need this outlet and what I write is true. Besides the outside world when left to their imagination sometimes percieve things that are far worse than our reality.

    • Writing about issues related to marriage and divorce, particularly in Saudi Arabia, will benefit those who read them. It is not “airing dirty laundry”, gossip or being unfaithful to Islam. As an American Muslim, I have been there — when talking in open forums, classes and in public about domestic violence — 30 years ago. At that time, I was criticized and even my deen was questioned. and of course, there were even some cretins who felt that maybe I deserved what I got. But somebody, particularly, a victim of domestic violence, had to talk about one of the most serious social problems within the Muslim ummah and the world in general. Alhamdolillah, in 2011 this matter is being openly addressed in the US at a conference of imams. The topic was not forming an Islamic educational system, Islamaphobia, or the economy, but rather domestic violence, that it was wrong and how to rid our homes of it.

      Saudi Arabia political and religious leaders should wake up, stand up and grow a spine. I can remember when American Muslims would send zakah to Saudi, a long long time ago before oil was their currency. Just as Allah bestowed His bounty on Saudi, he can take it back and give it to another group of people.

      • Stacey

        Where is the actual fact here though? This is all hearsay which is indeed not very Islaamic. I am an American convert myself and my family is also not Muslim AND I actually live IN SAUDIA!

        There should be actual facts presented and also we have to look at the number of usual divorce cases that are handled not just look at the worst cases because divorce is messy no matter how liberal the society is so naturally it will be messy here where people are more traditional in their thinking.

        It isn’t productive to just make a random rant against KSA with no facts and with no idea of how commonly things are mishandled. I think any time something goes to court – one person is going to feel somehow like they were mishandled. That is sort of why the stuff goes to court in the first place!

        Lastly, although I am not against divorce and I sympathize with the situations outlined in the post, it is not just something people are just “taught in school” it is the truth which was taught by Allah subhana wa ta’aala that marriage is His most hated allowable thing. It’s allowed, it’s sometimes necessary but it was He who informed us through our prophet that it is the most hated of allowable things to Him so saying that “we were taught that in school” as if you’re saying you were misinformed is a really disturbing statement.

  3. INAL

    I had a conversation with my husband of 25 years regarding this-and he agrees with the facts as you have stated them-but he says, and I concur; is that the basic principle (or the ideas) of Marriage is what is the major fault:

    -why marry in the first place if:
    •You are already looking for the second wife
    •your are pressured by society (family esp) to marry someone you have nothing in common
    •The basis of your marriage is pure procreation
    •Your hopes and dreams do not coincide- and you are vertible strangers to each other
    •Your “married” life consists of material things and the social support is your own blood family-not each other
    •no one admits that what marriage really means is the union of two people (to put in another religion’s word-for better or worse, in sickness and in health)
    •That marriage is seen as a business contract where one partner will never be equal
    •and like most businesses you are in it for the material gains
    •where the marriage is not the growth of a union-because no one allows for the two who marry to learn to love, repect and consider their spouse

    This doesn’t mean there are not couple in KSA and the rest of the ME who live a true marriage; but when one partner thinks of the other as disposable liability and the other lives in fear of being thought as furniture to be sold, bought, or relegated to an attic- then Marriage and Divorce take on a meaning of the lesser kind. And then separation is for easier said than done and for the other it is a situation that must be maintained for the mere sake of survival. And society via families condones this condition as a way of life- and how dare one break away.

    That is not Marriage- that’s Halal Sex with a worded contact and exchange of goods.

    • enad sabehi

      1) “A man might take on a second wife and not see his first” i think thats better than betray her and makin a relationships with another woman in his job.!! you must make a report about “men betray thier wives” in your countrey and saudi arabia i’m sure you will find a big difference.

      2)” father is not interested in caring for the kids” haha so why the muslim man didn’t divorced his wife after marrying with the second one ?oh oh becuase he cares of somthin not his wife’s blue eyes. he cares of his kids he does’t want them to live thier childhood without thier father!! i’m askin you to delete your report BECAUSE IT’S THE WORST REPORT I HAVE EVER READ!!!

      • Amazonbaby

        Enad,

        The world doesn’t exist for you to demand that people delete something that you don’t like.

        Freedom of speech means that sometimes you will read something you don’t agree with. Not that one side controls what appears or not.

      • Irfan

        Yup Enad .u are right, i agree with you.

  4. teachthemasses

    Haithem- it may not seem like a productive postr from a male perspective but it was very interesting from a female perspective to read…….
    I think here in Kuwait, things are slightly better. But in the end it depends who you are married to in the first place and how ‘civilised’ they are. I know of a woman ( western convert) married here for 24 years and then the husband up and left her, he took two kids and left her with the third, had the police tail her and even planted drugs on her….shameful.
    I shall be adding your blog to my blogroll.

  5. Haitham

    Maybe it would be better if there was some insight into why people get married. As mentioned, some men see it only as “Halal sex”, while others only see the wife as the carrier of his children.

    I did not disagree with the post above, unfortunately it is true, but maybe a broader view of the process that leads to these occurrences. Family pressure to marry (more so on the female, esp. after 25!), the view of Saudi society towards the young single male, the limits imposed on getting to know the other person before marriage, family interference in a couple’s daily life, and others.

    These aspects would give a clearer understanding of why suce divorces and unhappy marriages occur.

    • Amazonbaby

      Haitman,

      You can discuss the subject upside down and sideways, but the problem will never be resolved until women have the same rights as men and people can choose the person they want to marry theirself.

      • Stacey

        Women do have the right to object to a marriage proposal. There is a difference between equality and justice as well. Equality is me feeding an athlete the same amount of food that I would feed a two year old and feeding an elderly woman the same and so forth — equal is often not just because different people require different things and men and women are inherently different. We even seek out more of different things from our marriages in general. We have our overall human needs but then we have the needs that are closely associated with our gender/traditions/upbringing etc.

        Islaamic law is just but it is not always equal. Sometimes a man gets “more” and sometimes a woman gets “more”.

        The issue may be in some cases that Islaamic law is not adhered to but I stand by my previous statement that in court situations it is common for at least one person to feel snubbed and that is an international and universal truth.

        I say come with the statistics and proof of the divorce situation don’t just come with blanket statements and a few hearsay stories.

        This is speaking as someone who lives here in Saudi Arabia.

  6. For me there are two seperate issues.

    1. is the rise of divorce overall and I would suggest that the reasons why couples marry today are no different than the older generations. So it could be the social attitude towards divorce has changed rather the reasons for marrying.

    2. the way the courts continually shaft women seeking divorce or being divorce. For me that has nothing at all to do with why people get married and is a larger social issue that can more easily be corrected than trying to change an entire social attitude towards divorce in general. Of course perhaps if men didn’t find it so easy to dispose of a wife, and take children from their mothers, they wouldn’t be so ready to take this recourse.

    The rise of divorce in socities is the norm these days. This isn’t unique to Saudi really, although the reasons for divorce may be and the courts who wrong women as a whole is as well.

  7. Hala

    A very interesting point was pointed out to me by someone I don’t like much in this regard. The increased divorce rate in KSA -despite the difficulties of getting a divorce for a woman- reflects the rise of awareness of Saudi women of their own rights and the availability of support and options for them to get a divorce. I think that in itself is a good point, while marriage may not be completely a result of free will or knowledge, the divorce is quite the opposite…

  8. INAL

    Traditional reasons for marriage and the traditional ways a marriage is maintained in this day and age can’t be maintain verbatum- your people have changed more men wnd women obtain higher educations which exposes them to ideas and thought processes alien to our ancestors. So the whole concept of marriage needs to be reviewed- keep the good parts; change the parts that no longer work in your society as it chances…societies as much as some would like it are NOT static-there is no permenance.

    The courts maintain the same view -what was 100 years ago must be applied now- that just doesn’t make sense because a woman now with an education is treated in the same fashion as the one 100 years ago who had no concept of the world.

    What one thinks going into a marriage is what ultimately influences what goes into a divorce.

    To fix the courts; one must do a root cause analysis of marriage as an institution; then do the same for the courts. Not the other way around.

  9. teachthemasses

    I think young people are pulled into the romanticism of the ‘Noor’ type soap opera Hollywood myth that as soon as you marry, all your troubles will disappear- all your troubles in the form of parental restrictions……soon married life isn’t as rosy as they thought.She gets to stay home and he gets the diwaniya and the chance to stay out all night if he likes without Mama asking where he has been( it works both ways lol). Here in Kuwait divorce is highest ( I believe ) among the under 25s and lowest (I believe) among the mixed marriages ( Kuwaiti-Western)- now isn’t that funny……:) we are doing something right.

  10. For a long time it was somewhat similar here in Japan. And while it has not become as common as in the US, it has become pretty much acceptable.

  11. paxmuhammadiyah

    A good article on divorce – I disagree with Haitham (comments, above) because I believe Saudi Arabia is going through an intense moral and spiritual crisis where, if things are not aired publicly, will lead to very deep and significant social unrest. It is in Saudi Arabia’s own interest to prevent this kind of social discomfort and the worst possible way of handling this would be to prevent discussion with the hope that this may dissipate the problem. The problems will not go away and not wishing to face them would be the worst possible thing to do. My see my own blog for further discussions.

  12. I just found your blog. It is nice! BTW, my Sister in Law is an English teacher in Jeddah.

    My wife was divorced in Jeddah back in the early 1990s. Her ex was a pretty bad fellow and even showed up in court high on drugs.

    Even when this was obvious the judge still made my wife pay back the dowry and gave him custody of their one year old boy.

    Of course, to make things work well and fast my wife’s father had to pay a $10,000 bribe to the judge.

    A real sad situation.

    • rehman

      and that bastard judge had a beard rite?! theese bearded bastard assholes!
      didnt your ex wife’s father asked him if he didnt have any shame on selling religion. didnt he warn him of the ayah, “dont be the first one to sell my religion for a cheap price (samanan kaleelah). These same bearded idiots curse jews,hindus, and other non-muslim groups left and right while engaging in the same things. no wonder we muslims are so fucked up and lack in progress and human development.

  13. I`m reading from Mexico, and is really sad to known that this situaction happends around the world for different reasons, in my country, there are so many little towns and even the cities where the marriage problemas are just for woman that suffer the most for some reasons, and seems to be just unfair for us, in you guys country can be even worst because is all about religion and government laws, the power is against the “minority” (that is not) where the kids and women seems to does not have human rights at all. Cultures are different, but nature and humanity is just simple, we all want to be free and create a new and a fair society.

  14. Haitham – Until women here are treated fairly, humanely, and with dignity, exposing the KSA’s dirty laundry is exactly what needs to be done.
    Divorce here totally favors the man and there needs to be a more equal playing ground for women.

    SaudiWoman – I love your posts like this – don’t lower your voice – shout it from the rooftops!

  15. H1234

    I am writing a report on divorce law in Saudi Arabia and found your blog very enlightening. Are there any resources- preferably academic- that you could direct me towards? Much thanks.

  16. saudiwoman

    Hi H1234
    I don’t know of any sure English resources but you could try the King Saud university website.

  17. afsar1974

    hi friend salam
    devorsed is not good & very deficuldt word any body thing for this word but some time some problem making the last talk devorsed that is good you can take hapy hapy devorsed,
    i am man if any devorsed women need marrige with me plz email me & also give me mobile nomber call me afsar net friend complant1974@ayahho.com

  18. I think that this is a human rights issue and there for is a world wide issue that needs to be addressed. There are many reasons that marriages fail such as, little girls being married off to pedophiles to repay a debt. This is not dirty laundry-it is a human rights issue! It is also a cultural issue, of course people will end up divorced if they never loved each other in the first place and were basically forced into marriage. There are many reasons why Saudi’s are getting divorced, and remaining silent will not help the situation to change. It is also wrong that women are treated so unfairly under this system! Clearly women are controlled by men, do not have equal rights and are viewed as property and forced to remain submissive. Until the system and culture changes of course divorce will happen!

    • Mylinn

      You are right and unless you love self first, work on personal baggage this will occur. Men do not respect women when they have not fulfilled their lives. They are never satisfied. When women has no money, she has no voice. l am writing a book about this subject of marriage and culture.

  19. critic

    Khula in Islam is not difficult, and it’n not a long process. It can be done in a matter of minutes. I the phrophet mohammed’s (peace be upon him) time a female companion wanted to seperate from her husban because she disliked him and the messenger granted her that. So as you can see, you dont have to have proof of abuse or violence,rather, mere dislike is enough. After contemplating on that I think we all agree that these problems come down to arab traditions and arab social problems that have nothing to do with the beautiful religion of Islam

    • amber al-sardi

      I would tend to agree with you that the problem is not islam — it is the misinterpretation of islam that is then converted into “law”. If women were allowed to make a a meaningful and representative contribution to the sharia, this may not happen. Right now, women are not allowed this.

  20. Tariq

    Sisters,

    I live in the UK, so you dont need to worry about my Patriarchal credentials.

    Justice and fairness is what our faith is about.

    BUT and this is a very big but here, the fundamentals of our faith are under siege both, from externally and internally. The internal subversion will only produce extreme counter-reactions.

    Before talking of women’s rights in Saudi Arabia, could anyone tell me about the treatment of Pakistani workers or Indonesian maids?

    The society is built on a great deal of injustices, and this only aggravates itself.

    I’m not anti-education or knowledge, the prophet’s maxim: Seek knowledge onto China is my motto.

    We can learn from others in real subjects: Medicine, engineering etc, social sciences are more troublesome though because they’re ideologically driven, propaganda riddled.

    Buy into it at your free-will, but I can tell you this: It has not produced Utopia here either. This road leads to deprivation, the ideals are always noble, the outcome less so.

    In short: Be wise and the old saying Be careful what you wish for certainly applies here.

  21. Amazonbaby

    Basically, what it boils down to is free will. The people in charge of a society who make the rules and enforce them. Either they make fair rules and enforce them or they make selfish rules where one side has more power and the underdog has to change the way they live so they can survive.

    In Islam, a wife’s very survival comes from her obedience to her husband. To make matters worse, it seems her chances of making it into heaven depend upon the same behavior.

    Why are there only male religious police? Why do men only make the rules?

    Someone above said that there is a big moral and spiritual change developing in KSA. I hope it ends up positive.

  22. Hafsa

    i thought that in islam all it took was to say “i divorce you” three times with witnesses around and then u were divorced! it is the same for men and women. where did all this nonsense of “saying it in ur heart” or “proving some sort of abuse” come from?!? what has happened to the way islam was supposed to be?!

  23. You will eventually get divorced too. I can guarentee if your husband has half a testicular skin cell he will eventually get rid of your CNN (Continous Nonstop Nonsense) mule.
    Then you can joid huwaider her her herd of wild cows and go to Bahrain and “drive” each other up the wall.
    Understand that when this prayer of mine for you(to get divorced and diseased and to turn into a progresssive man hating lesbian) comes true iblis will be there for you…he’ll be your friend…. he’ll help you carry onnnn… call on him bichster…when you need a hand…all of your types need his whispers to caaarrryy onnn…

    • What exactly is your problem Armann? Name calling, mean spirited comments and ignorance is how you respond to the truth. You have no knowledge about the writer, her spouse or her political views, yet you “react” to her column with your own self-hatred. And I bet you think you are such a good Muslim. Perhaps you should really read about Islam instead of following the negative, anti-woman Saudi mentality that has already lead many men and women to the therapsts.

      “May Allah protect me from His believers.”

    • raya

      Maybe you think that you are a perfect Muslim Armann, your obvious hatred for women sounds like you yourself are a woman hating gay or something! A real decent man will not speak that way about women, who carried you in the womb for nine months, was it your father!
      idiot!!!

      • Mylinn

        This person is sad and she is mostly likely being verbally abused so she has convinced herself it is alright to be treated that way.

    • Cecil

      An example of the mentally deranged.

  24. Ya_Modir

    OMG. Lots of misunderstanding in this blog. Get some education, pls, before posting in here.

    OT: Our country has no divorce, also. But wives are free to sue their husbands even just a slight mistake in their marital relationship. I have read here that Saudi Arabia is the center of Islam, and yet, Islam is not what they do. It is more like a “TRIBAL” law and traditions.

    I wonder what can a Saudi Wife do if she’s “abused sexually” by her husband?…

  25. saudi

    Welcome to Saudi Arabia, Where Sexism and Racism are okay.

    • loool says who!! chill out!! look around, seek some info on google or something for all the abuse cases against women into in the so called “western countries”! rape, harassment, etc.. the list goes on :) shiiit happens everywhere. chill out يا جرذ

  26. Divorce is basically one big mess..doesnt matter in KSA or in Europe. It damages emotionally both man and woman..doesnt matter how much money were or is involved. And quite often poor little ones are in the middle of that…

    • Divorce can be amicable. When adult people decide that the relationship is not working and want to be decent, they leave out the vindictive, tit-for-tat, I’m right you are wrong foolishness and move on. Someone who claims to be Muslim and is then mean, full of themself or just plain selfish should realize that may be why they are getting a divorce. Children in unhappy marriages suffer there also.

  27. sarah

    In my own opinion im agree in divorce, im a second wife and really i feel discriminate for all, time,money, even family celebration only the first wife allowed to attend its hard on my side. why? its just because im just from asian country? we have 2 kids and really its hard for me to accept that even i have kids for my husband from saudi i feel discriminate that why even i love my husband tooo much its better to leave him so that i can go on on my life rather than to be alone with no body.

    • Sandy

      Frankly- unless I know the first wife not only agreed to- but genuinely was in favor of her husband taking another wife- I do not socialize with second wives. I know many other women the same. We do not agree it is ok to bring such stress and trouble to a family and it isn’t about nationality.

    • Cecil

      Why on earth did you have two kids with a man that was already married? Sister why would you do this to yourself. He didn’t respect his first wife enough to stay married only to her, why would he do the same for you? If you can financially manage it, take your kids and go on with your life rather than play “second wife.” Religious fanatics that have bent the rules in order to satisfy their sexual urges and then call it “holy” are the worst.

    • Mylinn

      Didn’t you know that this was going to happen> You either had money or there was some type of bargain. The first wife had to approve you marrying him and she got a maid, and someone that would provide her with benefits in addition to her husband. l am writing a book, stay tune.

  28. aTp

    The Saudi mentality is very tribal because of ignorance. In my experience, I find it even difficult to break-up with a Saudi Boyfriend how much more if a woman is asking for divorce. Im working in UAE and I met my BF online and he agreed to come and meet me in UAE. We kept the relation for 4 years. I only knew how sick he is when he foght with his cousins which was even featured in news: http://www.okaz.com.sa/new/Issues/20101015/PrinCon20101015377831.htm , after going to jail and loosing his passport I decided to break up with him on the 6th month. Its been 2 months but untill now he hasnt accepted my decision. He constantly harrass me and blackmail me with my nude pics. If a break-up makes a Saudi man crazy, how much more if it was divorce. Yes, I do agree that not all Saudi’s are bad but no matter how good they are at heart they will turn evil because the tribal culture and mentality are deep rooted in their mind which doesnt accept rejection from a woman. If the culture, religion, government and parents mold them to be superior than woman, then they will never see a woman as an equal.

  29. Pingback: Anonymous

  30. to the writer of this post and commenters. please do note that there is a BIG DIFFERENCE here. Saudi Arabia, while being the apparent Islamic main ground, its rulers and government are far from rulling according to the Islamic Shariah. They are zaalimeen “oppressors” and treat alot of people unjustly. Sadly this is the truth, secondly, If you follow SHARIAH then you will see frrdom and justness to both man and women.

    Likewise, such statements as the poor women made to give back her dowry, this is WRONG and HARAAM according to the Law of Allah Ta’aala. let not culture, tradition and plain human misbehavior be mistaken for Islamic Law. Islamic law that is carried out accordingly is JUST.

  31. Musa Assalafee

    KSA women are d best women existing in this century, their unique love and submission to Allah’s laws gave them their unique modesty,dignity and chastity. dis gave dem a spritual liberty resulting in superiority celestially nd eternally. don’t be decieved by d filthy so called western ways for it entailes not but moral degradations and disgrace that ends with shame and regret. so wake up! and understand who you are, ALLAH CARES 4 YOU MORE THAN ANY WEAK PREAK Created creature.

    • Musa, who appointed you the judge of womankind? KSA women have no rank higher than other women who are dutiful to Allah. They certainly do not have any celestial, divine or special essence than any other women, although I am certain most of civilized, intelligent society has concerns about the status of KSA women, unlike their own people, particularly the so called religious and government leaders. Your own comments indicate how backward your society is and how contrary to true Islam you are. The Prophet clearly stated no Arab is better than a non-Arab.

      Western ways seem to be ok when it is is a car, electronics, medicine, business and educational institutions. And probably in your thinking, if a man wants to enjoy the benefits. Don’t be a hippocrite.

    • Madiha

      You are not making any sense? For your information, we are all Allahs creations, not just KSA women. Also try spell checking when you want to make such a huge statement. My bad…from reading your ignorant opinion it also proves you lack academic education as well as being a closed minded human. Peace ✌️

    • Cecil

      We are all celestial and eternal. When you pass to the Other Side at the end of your life you will find that spirituality exists, religion doesn’t

  32. Dear Bro’s/Sis’s,

    One of my friends live in Saudi Arabia, my friend would like to take divorce from his wife. I came to know that both are in big misunderstanding situation. And he decided to take divorce. Now the point is he wan’ts to take his two kids with him and leave the Kingdom. Is it possible to take his two kids, if yes what is the procedure.

    Kindly provide me your best suggestion.

    Note: Both are Indian Citizen, and they are muslims. They got married in Saudi Arabia.

    • Cecil

      You want us to tell you how your “friend” can divorce his wife and take her children away from her and leave the country??? We cannot provide you with any “kind” suggestions at all. In my country this is considered a crime and is punishable by law.

  33. n21

    I have a solution…just don’t marry to begin with!

  34. maria imelda maninang

    divorce should be done in the presence of husband and wife. just divorcing a woman without her knowledge is a form of disgrace. allah treated a man and a woman with same rights.

  35. isah mohammed

    My dreams has always been married to saudi woman either divorce or young lady I don’t mind, please connect me to them.

    Tell +2348039326319

    email isahmohammed200261@yahoo.com

    Cheer’s

    Isah.

  36. isah mohammed

    I need a divorce from saudi arabia.

  37. Madiha

    Hello to you all, firstly would like to say I find it really empowering when I hear Saudi women speak out their opinions on such sensitive related issues. I believe women have the right to be heard especially when they have been thru such suppression. How can the government in Saudi Arabia make such tight laws on women in a marriage without any sympathy. I just find it shocking that this is “the holy land”. Quran provides us the guide to the way of life, the way Allah thinks best for humans, it is meant to bring harmony and peace for both men and women, yet women are forced to feel like utter crap to get a rightful divorce in an abused marriage by the Saudi laws. I am really sorry if I have offended anyone here especially any Saudis as I am familiar to how hot headed you guys are. I am a Muslim from the UK and I came upon this site whilst looking for a charity for single mothers or widowers particularly in Saudi. Do women get any government funding if they get divorced if they keep their children without the help of their fathers? I would really appreciate if any one here could guide me to the right place that has any charity’s for divorced women or widowers. It saddens me to hear how ruthless some men are in Saudi and see women as nothing. I have been dating a guy from Saudi for over a year now and I have of course fallen for him. Just scares the wits out of me of what I could be doomed with in the future. I think I would die if he had a second wife and divorce him on the spot. Him going off at night and leaving me home all night and fobbing me off like I’m some kind of second class citizen! He comes from a traditional Saudi family but has studied from abroad. He is to some extent open minded and promises me he would never indulge in any second marriage but having researched about the Saudi culture it just seems to me, men are socially and culturally accepted to do as they like and all that happens is that the women get mentally and emotionally abused. I don’t get why Saudi suppress women to the point of medieval times? They can’t even drive? What is wrong with driving? In this day and age surely it makes practical sense for a women to drive. Take kids to school, maybe rush a dying father to the hospital? Seriously, the more I think of it the more it scares the wits out of me. And what’s more sad then a women not driving, from my research I have found a lot of Saudi women advocating this ridiculous way of thinking. Sad this is all sad. I hope one day that Saudi Arabia would truly become a holy place for the sake of its peoples sanity and start treating their women with some real respect as Allah has asked men to do. I just would like to know do Saudi women suffer hardship financially after a divorce and if so are there any charities out there? Please forgive me if I offended anyone…

    • Cecilia

      Madiha I have heard this story before. Lady meets Saudi man and he says he’s open minded and would never take a second wife. Madiha sister please GET REAL. Once you’re married he can do whatever he wants, no matter what he said or didn’t say. Yes Saudi ex-wives suffer hardship financially after divorce but worse is that they suffer after a divorce completely. As far as his family is concerned, a divorce would be YOUR FAULT. You know this already. If you know marriage to a particular man will end in disaster, why chance it?? Yes maybe one day Saudi Arabia might become a holy and safe place for ladies, but right now it isn’t that way. Your mind is open and you are thinking about what is really right in our world, you are on the right track. If you truly do want to get married, may it be to someone that is kind, honest, fair and will sincerely love and respect you. May the best thing happen for you Madiha. Peace to you.

      • Madiha

        Thank you for sharing your advice Cecilia. You are in fact right what you say. The Saudi guy I was seeing did lie to me. Out of the blue he became cold and disappeared for a month. I desperately tried to reach him to find out if he was okay as I was worried sick and then I saw his picture updated on his phone. It was of him as a groom. Sitting on a stage. My heart has been broken and I feel foolish that I believed him. I tried to call him and find out why he did this to me and he denied all my calls. I was in so much agony and decided to let him go forever but after a few weeks he kept calling me and calling me. I didn’t respond then finally when he kept calling non stop for a month, I responded and asked him why he was calling after such a huge betrayal. He said he was sorry and wanted me to still be in his life. He went on that he understood how Sadam Hussain had a wife but also had the love of his life with him always. He wS implying that I should stay in his life. I sadly got stung so very badly. I can’t believe I was willing to change and uproot my life for a man who compares himself to Sadam Hussain. He made me believe he was a righteous man but all he did was lie to me. I am to blame but I honestly didn’t know what Saudi men were like this till I started falling in love with him and started my own research. That’s how I came to find this blog. The more I read the more I was afraid and he proved it right. He used me and I was the innocent party. I don’t care what people in here who are ignorant will say about me. I just know that Allah is all knowing and he will be the judge. I have faith. And I will never be so gullible again in my life.

  38. as salaamu alaikum

    why do these people get married in the first place?
    im not arab nor do i live in an arab country but its sad to see this-esp when i think that these are the descendants of the Sahaba(Rad).

    the deen we have is a result of their ancestors making lots of sacrifice and here we have them divorcing as if its going out of fashion.

    everybody is concerned about their rights & it seems as if nobody is worried about their wrongs.

  39. sagir

    The problem almost every where is that most women always view themselves as victims with no part in what happens to them, this kind of attitude will never emancipate women. I have seen enlightened opinions and some ignorant opinions. I believe muslims need much more knowledge about islam and retrospection, honest and critical self appraisal then we would realise what really opresses us and head for solutions. I think umm hussain, stacy,paxmuhammadiyah,INAL,Jang Min Ah have enlightened progressive views that we should heed.

    • Madiha

      It’s not about woman victimizing themselves, the discussion here is on human rights, so why is it in KSA non are given by a group of male leaders? Woman are reprimanded for wanted a divorce, which btw is allowed in Islam. Divorce is all over the world but unfortunately in Saudi, woman get the worst end of the bargain for standing up to their lawful holy right! Clearly you have missed the point of the discussion in this forum. Human rights=peace=Islam!

  40. big guy

    men divorce the wife because her face and attitude dont outstand her vagina shape. so, it is sad and sounds mean, but deal with it. it is true. american guys dump their girlfriends for the same reasons. no differnts. get dumped or divorced. nobody wants admit it but i will tell all. there. hate me

  41. hi’i like any whoman.age not mater.my age 32old i am sri lanka

  42. omar

    hello i look to meet any saudi woman which is my dream to marry am a black man with much potential they say a black man cant marry a saudi woman but in the name of Allah and Mohammed i believe that with much it can be possible by the his name my dream is to marry from saudi and spend the rest of my life here this my number i welcome the true one Allah will give me 0594587446 moreover ist a matter of religion love and affection but not race or complexion am 32 but i welcome all ages as our religions does not talk about age i look to have a respond anytime thank you?

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  45. msmoorad

    May Allah Ta’ala grant us all the taufeeq n ability to become good, practicing muslims. Our deen is perfect but we are the ones who create a bad image of islam and muslims due to our actions.

  46. Mohammed Mushtaq

    Asalamwalekum

    I am a muslim
    Age 23

    I m ready, and u tell marriage after any were sattle u discd

    Skype, mohammed.mushtaq777
    +971563900768

  47. Notforme

    I am not a Muslim but seems to me that it might be a bit expensive to have all these wives.

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