This photo rescued the day for me. This morning while waiting at a stop light in the back of my car, I happened to notice that the car in front of mine had a sticker on its bumper that was a ban sign going across a woman driving. It just got to me. Isn’t it enough that we are not allowed to drive but to have someone rub our noses in it with this sort of thing! What difference does it make to that ignorant fool with a sticker if the driver in the car next to him has a female or male anatomy? And to people who say it’s a matter of freedom of speech, I say grow up. Freedom of speech has limits when it infringes on the rights of others. Would it be OK if he had an anti Muslim driving sticker? Or an anti-Arab driving sticker? Gender is on the same level as religion and race when it comes to discrimination. Anyway this photo made things better. It was taken at a big ceremony last week to mark the official opening of the Princess Nora University for Women. I don’t know who the women are but they are probably university staff. Unfortunately this was not the picture that was published in the newspapers. This was the official photo:
Nevertheless, to have the King stand in the midst of these ladies and take a photo without worrying about the muttawas is a step forward. And then to have this photo openly available online is also another step forward. So one step back (the sticker) and two steps forward still counts as progress.
This is a quite expressive cartoon by a longstanding cartoonist, Al Rabea, from yesterday’s edition of Al Riyadh newspaper. It depicts a recurring and widespread situation in Saudi Arabia. In it a woman is backed against the wall in a helpless and hopeless fetal position and a man is pointing his camera equipped cell phone at her. The man has his understanding and polite face mask pulled off to reveal the meanness and devil ears beneath. Around the couple are scattered Bluetooths. The story behind this drawing is that many men take advantage of the oppressive nature of this society by befriending and pursuing vulnerable Saudi women until they let down their guard and send photos of themselves to these men. These men then use the photos to blackmail the women, mostly for sex but also for money and sometimes just for the fun of it.
In many cases the photos are usually quite innocent and if seen anywhere else in the world, it would not mean much. But here the possession of a photo of a Saudi woman with only her regular clothes on and without an abaya or hijab is scandalous and could cause a lot of trouble for the woman. Husbands divorce their wives solely on that basis. Even worse, a woman’s children could be taken away because she would be considered an unfit mother and a bad influence on her daughters.
Two extremely high profile cases that happened a decade ago, just when digital photography started going mainstream here caused the government to issue laws against men who use these photos. The first case was of an average single Saudi girl who during a trip to Makkah visited a young man’s apartment after a phone relationship. The guy took photos, some of which were compromising and explicit. Later in the relationship he got mad at the girl for one reason or another and posted the photos with a map to her family’s home in Riyadh and her full name. The aftermath was tragic. The girl was taken to a remote part of the desert and burned to death by her own brothers. The other case was that a young man who belongs to a high status family got mad at his teenage girlfriend and asked his slave* to rape her while he filmed it on his cell phone. This particular Bluetooth really got around and only Saudis living under rocks haven’t seen it. The girl was still in her school uniform and begging the guy to call the slave off. These two cases got so much attention that they pushed the government to act. Now a man who is caught blackmailing or passing out photos of a Saudi woman can be prosecuted and punished. On the other hand, this will also need the woman or at least her family to come forward and press charges so it doesn’t work that well if the woman comes from an extremely conservative family. Note that these cases are handled with the utmost sensitivity on the part of the government and the name of the woman is kept secret throughout the process. But if the girl cannot confide in her family because they might literally kill her or at least inflict serious physical and emotional harm, how is she supposed to be able to confide in the authorities? I have heard of cases where more mature women skipped family support and went directly to the authorities via the vice patrol (muttawas). Surprisingly, the muttawas are very forgiving. As long as at the end of the day they have someone to prosecute, they will willingly overlook the woman’s original discrepancy that got her into trouble in the first place.
The comments that this cartoon got on the newspaper’s website were about 140 in less than 24 hours. I skimmed through them and a substantial number of them blame the women. They write that if women observed the correct hijab and cover then they would not have gotten into trouble. They go as far as to write that women are completely to blame because they seduce naïve and innocent men into doing these things. Some simply thanked the cartoonist for airing the topic. Many used terms like wolves to refer to men and condemned them. A few men wrote about how the sympathize with women and how sad and lonely life can get for women here.
* I use the term slave for lack of a better word. These workers are not legally bound to their employers but voluntarily enslave themselves so in every other sense they are slaves.
Last week over at Saudijeans a blogger’s meet up was organized but only for males. Of course that’s the only way to do it because otherwise they’ll have a much longer meeting with the muttawa vice patrol. I got a little jealous though so I’ve decided that I’m going to test the waters for a women meet up of bloggers. Women here are notorious for ignoring these kinds of opportunities and even set appointments. Let’s see how this goes. So if you are a blogger writing about Saudi Arabia and happen to be a woman as well, please free up the early evening of November 12th. For further details Email me at saudiwomanblog at gmail dot com with the following:
1- name
2- blog link
3- Phone number
Call me paranoid but I will only disclose the location to ladies after verification. Lots of weirdoes to watch out for on both sides of the spectrum; ultra conservative muttawas hell-bent against women and desperate perverts looking for a love interest, so for everyone’s safety we’ll do it my way.
All across the media, the portrayal of Saudi women is always one of two facets; victimized and brainwashed or surprisingly educated and powerful. Here’s a third never before seen aspect. A bunch of Saudi girls acting just plain old silly for a laugh. These are photos that have been making the rounds in Saudi inboxes and I thought I would share them here with you. I don’t know the girls in the photos are but they are typical and could be any young ladies that I do know.
Saudis (and Muslims who follow the Saudi version of Islam) do not believe in ghosts the way that the western world does. When it comes to the immediate worldly afterlife, it is believed that a person at death only temporarily leaves his/her body. In the grave, they come back and inhabit it waiting for judgment day. Meanwhile, after an interview with an angel a window opens in their grave either on hell or heaven, depending on that person’s deeds. The only dead people spirits that walk among us are martyrs and Muslims who die for an Islamic cause. One possible reason for this is that they might like to follow up on what they died for. This a translation from the Quran:
And say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah: “They are dead.” Nay, they are living, though ye perceive (it) not. (Chapter 2 Al Baqara, verse 154)*
But this indifference to ghosts in the western sense does not change the fact that Saudis are strong believers in the supernatural. To truly comprehend you’ll have to go back to before the beginning. In the prequel to the Adam and Eve story, there were other creatures inhabiting the Earth. The angels are made of light and humans are made of mud and these others called jinn are made of fire. They ruled the Earth much as we do now and Satan was one of them. He was either a good Jinn ruler or a Jinn prophet while the rest of his people were abusing the Earth and not worshipping God as they should. So God sent his wrath down onto them and only a very few survived by hiding high in the mountains and underground in caves. Satan was spared and raised up to heaven to live among the angels. Then later God created Adam. That’s why in the Quran it states that the angels upon hearing about Adam reacted negatively:
Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: “I will create a vicegerent on earth.” They said: “Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?- whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?” He said: “I know what ye know not.” (Chapter 2 Al Baqara, verse 30) *
The angels were not predicting the future but were more like saying oh not again. They eventually submitted except for Satan who thought that it was beneath him to bow down to a creature made of mud. The rest is almost identical to the Christian and Jewish story. So Satan, Adam and Eve were sent down to Earth. It is said that God created three versions of everyone. That is that there is a Jinni that has your exact personality, mannerism and there is also an angel that way too. The jinn version is called a qareen in Arabic. And that’s how Muslims explain away those who claim to talk to the dead. They say that those so-called experts are actually talking to the dead person’s qareen.
The Jinn people that survived reproduced and so did Adam and Eve. And now it is like a two dimensional Earth. The inhabitants of both dimensions have their own civilizations, races and religions. But there are some of both dimensions that mesh them together. This meshing is where the supernatural comes from. Humans through witchcraft and such make use of Jinns’ invisibility to Human eyes to gain knowledge. And outcast Jin come into our world to wreak havoc. The belief in them is so strong that it affects real estate. One example is a prominent marble palace that some Saudi family built in Riyadh. It is near the intersection of King Abdullah street and Al Takhassisi. After the family moved they experienced something unexplainable. And it went on like this from buyer to buyer until eventually it was closed up completely for almost a decade. Now the government bought it and is using it as a guesthouse and club for officers.
The outcast Jinn are also believed to take forms and most commonly they take the form of a dog. That might be one of the reasons dogs are not seen in a positive light here. The worst thing a jin outcast could do is take up a person’s body. They do this for a number of reasons; they are bribed or ordered to by a sorcerer, they have fallen in love with the human, or a person through wrong actions invites them in. Once they are in it is difficult to get them out. A shiekh has to exorcise them by reading certain parts of the Quran. Even Shiekh Bin Baz, the most renowned Saudi shiekh in the past century, wrote about his experience with these beings. I have a booklet that was distributed free of charge at the Riyadh Military Hospital written by Shiekh Bin Baz. This is a photo of the cover:
Translation of the cover: Two letters
1- The issue of Jinn being in the body of a psychologically disturbed person and the Islamic law on conversing with Jin.
2- Treatment through the use of sorcery or witchcraft is an extreme danger to Islam and Muslims.
This whole concept is so ingrained into Saudi culture that even people who are laid-back about religion will think of Jinn when they hear a bump in the night.
This is a video I coincidently received in my Email today. It is a soccer player that supposedly got beaten up by a Jinn on the field. Watch and make up your own mind:
The minister of Social Affairs recently made a statement that there are 1.5 million Saudis under the poverty line. Everyone knows that there are poor in Saudi but to have it stated as such a matter of fact has gotten some to take notice. Two quite outspoken Saudis just won’t let it go. The first is Mohammed Al Ritayan from Al Watan Newspaper. He has written two articles on the issue. The latest was published yesterday. In the beginning he sarcastically comments on how expensive the minister’s office furniture looks in the interview photos. Then he moves on to make mathematical calculations that prove that the minister’s number was underestimated. He argues that the real number of poor is no less than 25% of all Saudis. Then he ends the article with a remark that regardless of whether his calculation are correct or not, even the minister’s number is shameful considering that Saudi Arabia is one of the richest countries in the world!
The second Saudi to speak out is a social activist, Trad Al Asmari. He has gone one step further by producing and directing a documentary on Saudi Arabia’s poor. In it a Saudi security guard recounts his struggle.
Translation:
Title: My salary is one thousand riyals (267 dollars)
Security Guard: “No accommodations, no insurance, no education, no hospital expenses cover, not even for our kids. They (employer) give us absolutely nothing. They won’t even give us health insurance. They basically just give us our salaries and say good-bye. Now I’ve been working here for three to four years. I should have at least health insurance. I live in this misery. I should at least be covered under the company’s health insurance plan. But no, three years and still I am at loss.”
Newspaper headline: Saudi family under the claw of poverty: Only dream is to own a tent
Director’s question: Is every working Saudi outside the circle of poverty?
Security guard: “My whole salary is 1200 to 1300 riyals. It is not enough for rent, my kid’s expenses, school supplies. We have kids, we have…lots of things. It’s not enough. 800 goes to rent. I end up with maybe 300 riyals. It’s not enough with six kids and household expenses…water…electricity. It doesn’t cover it all.”
Director’s note: For a Saudi, it takes 1600 riyals monthly to sustain them without factoring in rent. Accordingly, a monthly income of 1200 is considered beneath the poverty line.
Director’s note: The courage of a King
King Abdullah quote: “Hearing of is not like seeing and responsibility goes beyond offices. The problem of poverty cannot be cured improvisationally.”
Newspaper headline: The King visits poor districts
Director’s note: The king of the people and friend to the poor
But
There are some who deny their (the poor’s) existence
Newspaper headline: Government committee finishes discussing poverty in one meeting and ensures the limitedness of the problem.
Director’s note: Why deny their existence?
Security guard: “In this problem we are lost. We can’t do anything and every time we try to complain no one listens and they keep throwing blame around. Everyone I go to tells me it’s not their job. You can never get answers. No one takes responsibility. “
Director’s note: They live among us
They are hurt and too modest to beg
Quran verse translation: (Charity is) for those in need, who, in Allah’s cause are restricted (from travel), and cannot move about in the land, seeking (For trade or work): the ignorant man thinks, because of their modesty, that they are free from want. Thou shalt know them by their (Unfailing) mark: They beg not importunately from all the sundry. And whatever of good ye give, be assured Allah knoweth it well.
Security guard: “Of course I finish work at eight completely tired out. I barely have time to see my family over dinner and then it’s another day’s work. So I can’t make any good use of my time. I don’t even have time to spend with my kids.I can’t take them out. I only go to and from work, from 8am to 8pm. We as Saudis should get our complete rights.”
Director’s note: One saudi citizen asks
Who says I don’t live here?
Poverty is a huge problem here with more and more people falling into it because of inflation. Logically with the demand on expatriate workers, this should not be. The government won’t assign a minimum wage and I can see their point of view. With millions if not billions of riyals seeping out of the country through expatriate workers’ salaries, assigning a minimum wage would only raise the money going out. And even though nationality discrimination is widely accepted here, fortunately, the government will not stoop that low. The issue is multi-dimensional and the solution is beyond me. However to have these two men openly speak out and criticize without fear of prosecution is a tremendous step forward.
On a more personal note, last year I drew up a complete business plan for an after school center. The plan provided part-time jobs for seven Saudi women with a minimum salary of 3000 riyals. My target employee was enthusiastic college students or young school teachers looking for a second job. And my target clientele was two income families whose both parents have full time jobs i.e. mothers who hold jobs in the medical or banking sector. I had an investor signed up. All I needed was to launch the project. But I had to put the whole thing on the back burner because of all the red tape and bureaucratic nonsense.
When the issue of the ban on women driving in Saudi Arabia comes up it sometimes leads outsiders to question the contradiction between gender segregation and a woman spending so much time alone in a car with an unrelated man. To completely understand how this came about you have to go back in history to when slavery was the norm. Back then, women did not stringently cover from their male slaves and in some families they did not cover at all. The neutering of some male slaves was socially acceptable. This attitude somehow transferred to the modern day drivers. Women who are religious strictly cover from their drivers but the majority treat drivers like a little less than a man.
Another aspect that plays into this contradiction is the driver’s nationality. As a writer, I do not mean to offend anyone but this is an unspoken fact that I have observed as part of this society. The main point of covering up besides just obeying Allah is to discourage unwonted attention and to nip any idea of a romantic relationship. On that latter point’s basis, the driver’s nationality eases the restriction on interaction and covering because a relationship is completely out of the question. This is true for any nationality east of the Middle East. And it is also true for waiters, cleaners and cooks. I have sat at restaurants with women who cover at all times but once the table partition is put up they take off all their head covering because the waiter is an Indian, or Pilipino.
The mostly manliest men that women will go running behind a curtain if they don’t have a abaya nearby, are men within the same age range and come from the same region and tribe. If they are too young or too old she’ll probably just hold a sofa cushion in front of her face until a child or maid hands her her abaya. So when Qassimi women come to Riyadh, they won’t be so strict about their abayas and scarves at the mall because there is less of a chance of them running into a male cousin, neighbor or family friend. And women from Riyadh are known to relatively go wild when visiting the Eastern or Western Region based on that same principle. A Husband pays little attention to his wife’s abaya after they leave the house. But if he happens to see a colleague or cousin coming his way, trust that he will quickly scrutinize his wife’s attire and if it is the least bit revealing he will distance himself. And this is also why a Saudi female customer will interact differently with a Saudi shop assistant based on his regional accent.
At the next level you have Saudis in general. This is observable abroad. Saudis will mingle with the general population of their host countries without worry about proper hijab. This will remain the state if only a few other Saudi families are within the bumping into each other zone. Once the number of families grows into the double digits, even the most liberal women will consider covering up.
Other male Arabs and Westerners with the exception of Egyptians are almost looked at as gay. Because many Saudi women have come to believe that these men, unlike their Saudi counterparts, unquestionably respect women. Saudi women cover in their presence. However they are a lot more relaxed in conversation and body language.
Unfortunately, Egyptian men here have not been able to cultivate the above reputation. I don’t know if this is because of the bad impression people get from Egyptian movies or because of the conduct of a few bad apples.
The Iraqi war really brought the spotlight on the Shia -Sunni struggle within the region, when before, outside of the Middle East, there was no distinction between Muslims. Little be known to the rest of the world there are other layers of discrimination in the region. Two of which affect a Saudi’s marriage and job prospects. The first and most important is whether a person belongs to a tribe or not. You are 220 if you belong to a tribe and 120 if you don’t. There are many tribes in the region and tracking and documenting them is a centuries old science that is still very much alive today. I’ve also heard stories of specialists who were able to track which tribe a person belongs to just by looking at their facial features. Though I don’t believe they exist anymore. The most prestigious tribe to belong to is the Ashraff. People who are even remotely related to this tribe will drag out their family tree at every opportunity. And they are understandably the most prestigious because they are descendents of the Prophet Mohammed’s (PBUH) family. Now most claims to this tribe are bogus but the few true lines of heritance are carefully documented in books. The most famous Asharaff family today is the Jordanian royal family. But personally I think they have diluted their blood with too many British and American commoners.
Then there are Saudis who don’t belong to a tribe. The first of two main reasons why is that they go back to an ancestor who has been disowned by his tribe for committing a crime or taking up a manual job. These families are easy to identify because their last name usually means in Arabic some kind of job like blacksmith or baker. The other main reason is that the family goes back to an ancestor who immigrated here. These families usually have a last name that in Arabic means some kind of nationality like Egyptian, Morroccan…etc. The only exception I know of to the latter reason is the Hindi family who are tribal.
Another layer of distinction is made up of Bedouin or urban. Bedouins are families who only in the past century have settled down. Before they used to roam the desert never belonging to any particular region. Urban are families who belong to tribes that have always lived in towns and cities, only occasionally moving.
Part of a Saudi’s life is to be classified as one of the following:
a) Urban and tribal: These Saudis are the most stuck-up, refined and know how to spend money.
b) Bedouin and tribal: These Saudi are not as sophisticated but are more generous and their women are given a lot more freedom and respect.
c) Urban and nontribal: These Saudis are concentrated in the Western region and they mostly come from ancestors who were originally overstayers after performing Hajj.
d) Salab: These Saudis come from gypsy ancestors.
How does this matter in day to day life? Within their circles, both Bedouins and tribal Urban consider being called the other an insult. Urban mothers tell their children not to be Bedouin when they, for instance, attempt to leave the house in their pajamas. And Bedouin mothers tell their children not to be urban when they get scared of a spider. To urban families, being called Bedouin has connotations of being unrefined and unruly. And in Bedouin families, being called an urban essentially means sissy.
And until recently, the Saudi nationality had been withheld from many salabs. Even though they have been on Saudi land for more than a century.
When it comes to job-hunting, let me just say that if you take a close look at any Saudi establishment, you’ll find that strangely a great number of the employees belong to the same tribe as the head of the establishment.
In marriage, it doesn’t matter much if you are Bedouin or urban. What matters is whether or not you’re tribal. If a Saudi is tribal and marries someone who isn’t, the father of the tribal spouse is expected to disown them. And the whole marriage has long term negative effects. The siblings of the tribal spouse will be limited in their choice of life-partners. A famous case that originated in such a mixed marriage is that of Fatima who after having two children with her husband, was forcefully divorced by her half brothers after her father passed away. Shockingly the divorce was sanctioned by the Saudi judicial system.
JEDDAH, 25 March 2008 – A Saudi woman, who was forcibly divorced from her husband by a court in 2005 at the request of her half brothers, yesterday began the first day of a hunger strike despite officials saying that the couple would soon be reunited.
“I won’t believe it till I see it… I’ll remain stuck in this shelter like an outcaste. Everyone asks me to be patient and wait,” said the woman known as Fatima.
One of my own relatives fell in love with a person who belonged to a non-tribal family. Just when they were about to announce their engagement, my great uncle threatened the father with disowning his whole family. So everything was broken off before it got too serious. This of course is extremely un-Islamic and a great example of how our society is truly ruled by custom and culture rather than religion.
Mohammed Al Arefe is the complete package. He is the Brad Pitt of Sheikhdom. Unfortunately he truly puts women in the toilet when it comes to their rights and humanity. His ideology is the typical close-minded outlook that Saudi society has grown accustomed to from its religious leaders, except when it comes to this particular religious leader, it almost seems like he has hypnotic super-powers. Even women will accept being told that they are less than men when it comes from his mouth. He is very charismatic. And I believe it comes across even with language barriers. This is a short video of him telling a funny story about his seven year old daughter learning her daily prayers.
Rough Translation: In the video he says that he is trying to encourage his daughter Jumana to pray. So one day he told her to pray the thahir (noon) prayer, she with resignation said ok. On his way back from performing Asir (afternoon) prayer at the mosque, Jumana opened the door for him and he asked her if she had prayed that prayer. She replied oohhh not again. Do I have to? But she goes and does it anyway. Then on his way back from the next prayer, the Maghreb (sunset) prayer, she again opened the door for him and immediately laughingly says OOhhhh you’re killing me with all this pray pray pray …
Some of the issues that he has raised was his objection at the first National Forum to the women who drove in 1991. That they should not have been allowed to resume work and influence other women, especially the participants who also happen to have teaching posts at schools and colleges. He also proposed that a rule or law be established so that liberal women would not be able to take advantage of their jobs as teachers and lecturers to spread their sinful ideas. And that those teachers would be strictly instructed to teach what is in the books and not their opinions and views.
He is also extremely well-travelled. He hops from one country to the next giving lectures at mosques and even has debate type of sittings with priests and leaders of other religions. I attended one of his lectures at a mosque in Birmingham, UK. Of course he sat in the men’s section and women could only hear the lecture on the sound system. In the lecture he spoke about how to deal with teenagers that are raised in the west and have been westernized. Throughout the lecture he completely ignored women. He gave advice only to fathers and spoke only about problems with sons. As though mothers had no say or effect and there was no fear about daughters being westernized.
Here’s another video of him speaking on how to beat your wife. It already has English subtitles.
If only whatever changed Sheikh Salman Al Ouda would change Sheikh Mohammed Al Arefe it would probably be the last straw that breaks our ultra conservative camel’s back. With his huge following here in the central region, he is a man with a lot of power to either keep us on our crazy path or get us to see the light.
In Saudi Arabia you can tell a lot about a woman by her relationship with her driver. Yes I call it a relationship. Because, unlike anywhere in the world, drivers are a necessity and not a luxury that is used on a whim. A driver here knows his employer’s (or charge, depending on how conservative the family is) every single habit. Is she punctual or late? How social she is and who calls her and whom does she call. And depending on the size of the car, he probably even knows the smell of her morning breath. Her moods, shopping habits and favorite drink are common knowledge to not only her own driver but also to the neighbors’ drivers. Just as an example of how suffocatingly close a driver is, when my husband cannot reach me on my cell phone, he contacts the driver because wherever I am, the driver will of course be there too.
With someone that close, a relationship has to evolve. For some of my friends, it is a nurturing relationship. Just as long ago when people had horses and at stops the first thing they would do is make sure that the horse is put in a stable and provided with nourishment, these friends first make sure that the driver is let in to wait in the little cramped host’s driver room. Some even go as far as to prepare at home before going out tea in a thermos and some snacks for the driver to enjoy while he waits. When I ask them why go to all that trouble? They tell me that they cannot afford another runaway so they’re trying to make the job as pleasurable and easy as possible.
Others have a more master- slave relationship. They scream at their drivers. I’ve personally witnessed a woman hit her driver when he made a wrong turn. And if you try to comment they’ll say he should thank God that I’m willing to give him a job. Ironically, these women always end up with the loyal drivers who stick around for years. The driver that I witnessed being hit stayed with that employer for over 14 years.
And then there are the delusional, who try to ignore the presence of another human being in the car as much as they can. They gab on their phones and get in and out of the car just barely informing the driver of the destination. When they get there, they leave the car with no instructions as though the driver is just another auto part that will be there with the rest of the car when they finish their errand or visit.
No matter what type of relationship it is, the bottom line is pure unadulterated frustration. Why do we have to put up with this? Why do we have to fork out salaries and accommodations? Why do we have to figure out if we should let the driver wait outside or cruise around Riyadh on our gas money every time we reach a destination?
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